Adventure stories; Humorous stories; Science fiction; Short stories
I threw in my lot with the green men who were, it evolved, enroute to
Maroom, the capital of this country, to enroll in the Great Games. It
is difficult for me to find a parallel on our own planet for these
Great Games. What transpired at them, as I was to learn only too well
and shortly, was this. The blood-thirsty citizens of Maroom flock to a
large stadium and there witness various fellows fighting one another
and also great and ferocious beasts, of which there are many on this
depression-torn planet. Should a poor mendicant triumph in one of these
gruesome contests he is awarded a cash prize. This explains why the
down-and-out of Mars flock to Maroom.
To Maroom then my new friends and I made our way. For although on Mars
I was now called Yar Sud, or Shorty, I still vowed that I would beat
any man or beast I came up against in fair combat. Especially if there
was money involved.
We had hardly reached the suburbs of the great and decadent capital
when I heard a girl screaming in a tone that indicated her very honor
was at stake. Borrowing a sword from Yex Zurb I jumped from my riding
position just to the rear of his saddle and ran toward the scene of the
struggle.
My green acquaintances had informed me that the green men were not the
only race on Mars. There was also a pink skinned human type much like
myself only taller. Still I was not prepared as I dived into the murky,
sward-choked alley between two crumbling ruins to see before me a girl
of striking beauty of figure being pummeled by a large pink man in a
leather suit.
"One kiss is all I request," the man pleaded in a slimy voice that was
far from manly.
"One will lead to another," the girl responded in a tone I admired.
"Soon you will require other favors."
"One little kiss. By Zarg (their idea of God)! If you don't kiss me
quickly, Dina Taurus, I will have you locked away where kissing is out
of the question."
"Lock if you will," said the brave girl. "For kiss you I never shall."
I waited to hear no more. "Stand, sir!" I cried. "The young lady does
not wish to be kissed."
The man was nearly eight feet high, though it was evident that his
pursuit of physical gratification left little room for a careful
program of physical fitness. "Beat it, Yar Sud," he bellowed. "Do you
dare to interfere with a Yax-Tarkas on his appointed rounds?"
"I don't know what a Yax-Tarkas is," I replied, "But I know that my
blade will cut you down if you don't depart this woman's side at once."
His only reply was an angry grunt. He then came at me with sword drawn.
In my student days in Paris I had astounded my teachers with my ability
as a foilsman. Fortunately, on Mars they fence in the Parisian manner
and I was soon able to run the pleasure-bent Yax-Tarkas through and
then dispose of his body in a pit beneath the ruins.
When I returned to the heavy-breathing girl I suddenly gasped. "Isis!"
I cried. For she, indeed, it was.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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