F'Kau-Kau-Kau emptied a squat tumbler of pink beer. "I will treat with
you, Retief, as viceroy, since as you say your king is old and the space
between worlds is far. But there shall be no scheming underlings privy
to our dealings." He grinned a Yill grin. "Afterwards we shall carouse,
Retief. The Council Stool is hard and the waiting handmaidens
delectable. This makes for quick agreement."
Retief smiled. "The king is wise."
"Of course, a being prefers wenches of his own kind," F'Kau-Kau-Kau
said. He belched. "The Ministry of Culture has imported several
Terry--excuse me, Retief--Terrestrial joy-girls, said to be top-notch
specimens. At least they have very fat watchamacallits."
"The king is most considerate," Retief said.
"Let us to it then, Retief. I may hazard a fling with one of your
Terries, myself. I fancy an occasional perversion." F'Kau-Kau-Kau dug an
elbow into Retief's side and bellowed with laughter.
Ambassador Spradley hurried to intercept Retief as he crossed to the
door at F'Kau-Kau-Kau's side.
"Retief, kindly excuse yourself, I wish a word with you." His voice was
icy. Magnan stood behind him, goggling.
"Mr. Ambassador, forgive my apparent rudeness," Retief said. "I don't
have time to explain now----"
"Rudeness!" Spradley barked. "Don't have time, eh? Let me tell you----"
"Lower your voice, Mr. Ambassador," Retief said.
Spradley quivered, mouth open, speechless.
"If you'll sit down and wait quietly," Retief said, "I think----"
"_You_ think!" Spradley spluttered.
* * * * *
"Silence!" Retief said. Spradley looked up at Retief's face. He stared
for a moment into Retief's gray eyes, closed his mouth and swallowed.
"The Yill seem to have gotten the impression I'm in charge," Retief
said, "We'll have to keep it up."
"But--but--" Spradley stuttered. Then he straightened. "That is the last
straw," he whispered hoarsely. "_I_ am the Terrestrial Ambassador
Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary. Magnan has told me that
we've been studiedly insulted, repeatedly, since the moment of our
arrival. Kept waiting in baggage rooms, transported in refuse lorries,
herded about with servants, offered swill at table. Now I and my senior
staff, are left cooling our heels, without so much as an audience while
this--this multiple Kau person hobnobs with--with--"
Spradley's voice broke. "I may have been a trifle hasty, Retief, in
attempting to restrain you. Blaspheming the native gods and dumping the
banquet table are rather extreme measures, but your resentment was
perhaps partially justified. I am prepared to be lenient with you." He
fixed a choleric eye on Retief.
"I am walking out of this meeting, Mr. Retief. I'll take no more of
these deliberate personal----"
"That's enough," Retief snapped. "You're keeping the king waiting. Get
back to your chair and sit there until I come back."
Magnan found his voice. "What are you going to do, Retief?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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