Jews -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
“She is going to be married.... married.... do you understand? Going to
become the wife of another man. Another man is going to possess her....
do you understand? That man.... you saw him down stairs.... he is going
to possess her. She.... Christine.... oh, God help me!.... Perhaps he
has seen her, been in her presence, heard her voice, looked into her
eyes, touched her hand, kiss.... yes, very likely.... kissed her....
this very day. Perhaps he is with her at this instant.... now.... he,
with _her_.... do you understand? While you.... I.... I.... Oh, have
mercy on me. Strike me dead.... And to-morrow morning she is going to
marry him, to-morrow morning.... going to be married.... Well, well,
it's all right It's none of my business. Yes, it's all right. She can do
as she pleases. I can't help it. It's not my affair.... Only.... only,
I want to know.... I want to know, _why?_ Why is she going to marry him?
Only tell me that: why does she want to marry him? Not for love. No! She
can't love him. It would be impossible that she should love him. Don't
tell me she loves him. No, no! Why, I say, look--look at how she
loved me--how passionately, how entirely--with what complete, absolute
surrender of herself! Why, after a woman has loved one man that way, I
tell you, it is impossible, it is not in nature, for her ever to love
another--really love another.... No!.... I don't care what her feeling
toward me may be.... hatred.... indifference.... I don't care what....
I know she does not.... I know she never can.... love him.... love any
body else. I know it. It would be against nature--impossible.... Oh,
it's laughable. The idea! that she should ever feel toward any one as
she felt toward me! Such perfect confidence.... such perfect giving of
herself!.... Christine! Oh, do you remember, Christine? Do you remember
how you loved me? How your eyes burned with love, and your fingers
clung with love, and your bosom rose and fell with love, and your voice
thrilled with love? And all our unutterable intimate joy? And how
you said it was like anguish, it was so keen? And.... and.... Do you
remember! And now, do you mean to say that you can ever be like that
with another man--not me--with _him_--with any body? Like that? Loving
like that? Oh, no, no! Monstrous! Impossible. No, no, you don't love him
like that. Nobody could love twice like that. You never can love any
one like that--any one but me. Me! I am the only man who has ever tasted
that sweetness--who ever shall taste it. He--oh, the poor fool and
beggar! He may be married to you a thousand years. He will never
taste that--which I have tasted--never get even the perfume of it.
Never--never!.... And yet.... and yet, she is going to marry him. Oh,
Christine, tell me--for mercy's sake, tell me--why do you marry him? Why
does she want to marry him? Oh, there may be a hundred reasons. But not
for love. I am sure, not for love. Is marriage a proof of love? Did I
marry for love? She pities him. That's it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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