Jews -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
“Things that were before invisible or insignificant, now force
themselves upon my attention, and have a meaning and a solemnity. It is
as though you had touched me with a vivifying wand--as though you had
given me to drink of the elixir of life. Well, you _have_ given me to
drink of the elixir of love; and that is even more potent and marvelous
in its effects. These are not mere phrases, Christine, dashed off in
enthusiasm, without being weighed. They are an imperfect expression of
very real and practical facts. See the direct and manifest influence
that my love of you has exercised upon my work, my art. I used to tell
myself, with a good deal of complacency, that the artist was a sort of
priest; that he ought to be a celibate, that he ought to consecrate the
whole of himself to his art, that the muse should be his wife, that no
mortal woman should divide his homage with her. I had one formula that
pleased me especially. I said,4 The muse is a jealous mistress. She will
brook no rivalry. To win her favor, one must renounce the world, and
devote himself exclusively to her service.' And I used to fancy that I
really believed this high-flown nonsense. But what sophism! What cant!
What puerile pinning of my faith to a hollow set of words? For the very
first requirement to successful accomplishment in art--what is it?
Isn't there a spiritual equipment as much needed by the artist, as
indispensable to his productiveness, as his material equipment of
palette, paint-tubes, and brushes? Why, the very sinequa-non is this;
that he shall live. I mean, that he shall be intensely human; that he
shall think clearly, feel deeply, and see truly--see the truth, the
whole truth, and the very heart of the truth. Until one has lived in
this sense, one's art will never be real art. It will only be a nicer, a
more complex, species of mechanics. It will be the body of art, without
the spirit of it. Well, did I live, did I think, feel, see, before I
knew you, and loved you? A little, perhaps; vaguely, incompletely; by
fits and starts; as in a glass, darkly. But now? Oh, it is as though you
had given me a soul! You have quickened the dormant soul that was in
me, given it eyes, ears, perceptions, sympathies. At last I am alive,
tingling and throbbing to my finger tips with life, with warm, buoyant,
intense, eager life. My existence now is a constant exaltation, a
constant inspiration. Whatever my eye looks upon, whatever my ear hears,
whatever my fingers touch, means something, says something to me, and
wakes a response in my own heart. I think, feel, see, and consequently
paint, with a zest, an impetus, a power, and yet a serenity, a repose,
of which I never even had a conception in the old days, Christine! Oh,
my love! '...When I look at you, Christine, and realize that you are my
betrothed--that you love me, and that you have promised to be my wife;
and when I take your little hand in mine, and stroke it, and feel its
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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