"Shure," said he, "I seen a mighty quare thing coming towards me between the sintry-box and the hospital; it was all surrounded wid blue lights, and was like a big dog with a man's head. Nearer and nearer it came. `Faix,' thought I to myself, `Barney, me hold fellow, I wish you were again cutting turf in the bog.' Well, me jewels, it seemed to grow bigger and bigger until it was as big as me mother's peat-stack, and more betoken it had horns too. I tried to spake for to challenge, as was me duty, boys; but oh, Meila Murther! I'd lost the power of spache. Well, me jewels, it came nearer and nearer, until at last it stood quite convanient to the sintry-box. `Bad scan to your impudence!' sis I (my spache returning all at oncst), `is it clane off me post you want for to dhrive me, and desthroy me karacther for ever?' `Hould yer whist; go along out of that, and show me the back ov yer stockings, Barney Mulgruddery,' sis the ghost, in a tunderhin' passion. `Not a step I'll take for any ov the likes ov ye. Shure I was placed here by me supariors, and I've as good a right to be here as you.' `Be gorra! if yer not off out of this like a shot, you great nagur, I'll desthroy your body and soul for ever,' sis the ghost. `Why you murtherin' villain! shure you wouldn't be afther killing me?' sis I, keeping me finger on the trigger of me carbine; for you see, boys, I was not going to be dhruv off me post widout a struggle. Oh, blue nagurs! he kem wid a rush right forenenst me. I backed a few paces. `Barney Mulgruddery, attention!' sis I to meself, aloud; `make ready! prisint!' and I brought me carbine up to me shoulder. `Hould yer hand, Barney Mulgruddery,' sis the ghost, beginning to get smaller and smaller every moment, and lookin' me sthraight in the face all the while, as impidint as a tinker's dog. But, me jewels, it wasn't long before the ghost was thransmuggrified into as nice a young lady as ever the moon shone on. `Barney, me bold sodger,' sis she, `you're the bravest man I ever seen on sintry here. Shure,' sis she, `Barney Mulgruddery, you're a credit to ould Ireland, and you're sure to be a giniral;' and wid that she vanished. Och! it's _she_ was the Colleen Dhas. It was right good for sore eyes to look on her, the darlint. It may be a quare notion, but I'm thinking she took it into her head to fall in love wid me. At any rate, shure, she gev me the encouragement and the swate look, as if she was sthruck wid me appearance." This extraordinary story proved too clearly that Barney had either invented it from beginning to end; or, what was perhaps as bad, he had been sleeping and dreaming at his post. CHAPTER ELEVEN. Which of their weapons hath the conquest got Over their wits; the pipe or else the pot? For even the derivation of the name Seems to allude and to include the same: Tobacco as "to Bakcho", one would say; To cup-god Bacchus dedicated ay. [This includes a joke in Greek script, not a very clever one.]