"Ah, you wild college boys! Now I wager ten to one that you were not only playing truant at Shadynook, but making love." "That is perfectly correct, your Excellency." "See, I was right. You are a wild scamp, Tom. Who's your Dulcinea?" "I decline answering that question, your Excellency. But my rival--that is different." "Well, your rival?" "The dandified Adonis with the Doctor." "Your friend, is he not?" "Bosom friend; but what is the use of having friends, if we can't take liberties with them?" "As, courting their sweethearts!" said his Excellency, who seemed to enjoy this sentiment very much. "Yes, sir. I always put my friends under contribution. They are not fit for any thing else. My rule is always to play off my wit on friends; it coruscates more brilliantly when we know a man's foibles." "Good--very profound!" said the Governor, laughing; "and I suppose the present difficulty arises from the fact, that some of these coruscations, as you call them, played around the person or character of the worthy Doctor Small?" "No, no, your Excellency. I left my country for my country's good--I mean the college. My ideas were in advance of the age." "How?" "I suggested, in the Literary Society, the propriety of throwing off the rule of Great Britain; I drew up a constitutional argument against the Established Church in favor of religions toleration; and I asserted in open lecture that all men were and of right should be equally free." The Governor shook with laughter. "Did you?" he said. "Yes," said Sir Asinus, assuming a grand tone. "Well, I see now why you left your college for its good; this is treason, heresy, and barbarism," said the Governor, merrily. "Where has your Traitorship taken up your residence?" "In Gloucester street," said Sir Asinus; "a salubrious and pleasant lodging." "Gloucester street! Why, your constitutional civil and religious emancipation is not complete!" "No, my dear sir--no." "Come and live here with me in the palace; I'll protect you in your rights with my guards and cannon." "No, your Excellency," said Sir Asinus, laughing. "You are the representative of that great system which I oppose. I am afraid of the Greeks and their gifts." "Zounds! let me vindicate myself. I an opponent of your ideas!" cried the Governor, laughing. "You are the representative of royalty." "No, I am a good Virginian." "You are an admirer of the Established Church." The Governor whistled. "That's it!" he said. "You are the front of the aristocracy." "My dear friend," said his Excellency, "ever since a blackguard in Paris defeated me in a fair spadille combat--breast to breast, card to card, by pure genius--I have been a republican. That fellow was a _canaille_, but he won fifteen thousand pounds from me: he was my superior. But let us try a game of cards, my dear boy. How are your pockets?" "Low," said Sir Asinus, ruefully.