"I went into a salune this mornin'," said Solomon, "to git a glass av beer. I got me beer, ped foive sints, and waz jist goin' to blow the foam off it when somebody cries out, 'Foight!' I laid down me beer an' run out the dure to see where the foight waz, but there was no foight. Whin I got back me beer waz gone. I called for another glass an' waz goin' to dhrink it down, when somebody shouts, 'Foire!' Now I wanted to see the foire an' I didn't want to lose me beer, so I pulls out a bit av pincil an' paper an' wroites on it, 'I have shpit in this beer.' When I puts the paper on tap av the beer an' wint out to see the foire. There was no foire, an' what do you think happin'd whin I got back?" "Your beer waz gone," said Levi. "No it wazn't," Solomon interposed. "The beer waz there an' the bit av paper waz on tap av it, but some sucker had wrote roight ander my wroitin', 'So hev I.'" The conclusion of the story is of course greeted with laughter. "Here, Solomon," says Levi, "I want to make you a prisent." "An' what's this?" Asks Solomon, examining the article that has been handed to him. "A shoe horn." "An' what do I want wid an ould shoe horn?" "Thry an' get your hat on your head with it" answers Levi, amid an outburst of merriment from the audience. "How long can a man live widout brains?" is Solomon's next conundrum. "I don't know," says Levi. "How ould are you now?" [Laughter.] "What is a plate of hash?" Levi asks. "An insult to a square meal," Solomon answers triumphantly. "Thin you can shtand more insults than any other man I ever saw," says Levi, whereat Solomon's indignation causes him to manœuvre to the right of stage in proper position for the next question. "What's the diff'rence betwane you and a jackass?" he asks, looking sternly at Levi. The latter measures the floor with his eye, and answers, "About twelve foot." Solomon thumps his cane against the floor once more, looks bereft of all the pleasure he ever possessed on earth, and moving up to Levi, says:-- "No, that's not the roight answer." "Well," says Levi, "I'd loike to know what is the diff'rince betwane you an' a jackass?" "No diff'rince," shouts Solomon, throwing up his hands, and coming down the stage shaking with laughter. Suddenly the fact dawns upon him that he has made a mule of himself. His face assumes a bewildered expression, and he hastily returns from the scene followed by Levi McGinnis, while the orchestra strikes up a lively air in anticipation of the encore which is to call the comedians out to do a wild Irish reel.