Volume 1, Chapter IX. SAM JENKLES PREPARES FOR AN EXPEDITION. "There you are, Ratty," said Sam Jenkles, sticking a small yellow sunflower in each of his horse's blinkers, before mounting to his perch and driving out of the yard. "Now you look 'andsome. Only recklect 'andsome is as 'andsome does; so just putt your right leg fust for once in a way." He walked round the horse, giving it a smooth here and a smooth there with his worn-out glove, and patting its neck, before walking back, and beginning to button-up for the day. "Blest if ever I see such a tail in my life as he's got," he muttered. "Wonder what a hartificial one 'ud cost. It aint no kind o' use to comb it, 'thout you want to comb it all out and leave no tail at all I wouldn't care if it warn't so ragged." It certainly was a melancholy-looking tail, but only in keeping with the rest of the horse's personal appearance, which was of the most dejected--dispirited. If it had only been black, the steed would have been the beau ideal beast for a workhouse hearse; as he was of a dingy brown, he was relegated to a cab. "What's the matter, Sam?" said a cleaner, coming up--a man with a stable pail of water in one hand, a spoke-brush in the other, and a general exemplification of how, by degrees, Nature will make square people fit into round holes, and the reverse; for, by the constant carriage of stable pails, the man's knees had gone in, and out of the perpendicular, so as to allow for the vessels' swing. "What's the matter, Buddy? Why, everythink. Look at that there 'oss-- look at his tail." "Well, he aint 'andsome, suttunly," said the helper. "'Andsome!" exclaimed Sam; "no, nor he aint anythink else. He won't go, nor he won't stop. If you wants him to 'old 'is 'ead up, he 'angs it down; and if you wants him to 'old it down, he shoves it up in the air, and goes shambling along like a sick camel. He's all rules of contrairy." "'Oppin' about like a little canary," chimed in the helper. "'Oppin' about!" said Sam, in a tone of disgust. "I should just like to see him, if on'y for once in a way. I tell yer what it is, Buddy, I believe sometimes all he does is to lift his legs up, one at a time, an' lean up agin his collar. Natur' does the rest." "Werry likely," said Buddy; "but you can't expect everything in a cab 'oss." "Heverythink?" said Sam. "I don't expect everythink; I only want some-think; and all you've got there," he continued, pointing with one thumb over his shoulder at the unfortunate Ratty, "is so much walking cats'-meat." "Yes, he aint 'andsome, suttunly," said Buddy again, screwing up one side of his face. "But why don't you smooth him over? Try kindness, and give the whip a 'ollerday." "Kindness--whip--'ollerday! Why, I'm like a father to 'im. Look here." Sam went to the little boot at the back of his cab, and tugged out the horse's nose-bag, which was lined at the bottom with tin, so that it would have held water. "See that?" said Sam.