They Call Me Carpenter: A Tale of the Second ComingSinclair, Upton
General
They Call Me Carpenter: A Tale of the Second Coming
Sinclair, Upton
Hollywood (Los Angeles, Calif.) -- Fiction; Jesus Christ -- Fiction
“I'm sorry. I don't think I ever heard of her.”
“What? Dorothy Dulles, the screen actress?”
“No, I can't place her.”
“But--but she's a star!”
“Well, but you know, Mr. Stebbins--there are so many stars in the
heavens, and not all of them visible to the eye.”
I turned to Bertie's mamma. She had discovered that Carpenter looked
even more thrilling on a close view; he was not a stage figure, but
a really grave and impressive personality, exactly the thing to
thrill the ladies of the Higher Arts Club at their monthly luncheon,
and to reflect prestige upon his discoverer. So here she was,
inviting the party to share her box at the theatre; and here was T-S
explaining that it couldn't be done, he had got to see his French
revolution pictures took, dey had five tousand men hired to make a
mob. I noted that Mrs. Stebbins received the “advertising” figures
on the production!
The upshot of it was that the great lady consented to forget her box
at the theatre, and run out to the studios to see the mob scenes for
the “The Tale of Two Cities.” T-S hadn't quite finished his dinner,
but he waved his hand and said it was nuttin', he vouldn't keep Mrs.
Stebbins vaitin'. He beckoned the waiter, and signed his magic name
on the check, with a five-dollar bill on top for a tip. Mrs.
Stebbins collected her family and floated to the door, and our party
followed.
I expected another scene with the mob; but I found that the street
had been swept clear of everything but policemen and chauffeurs. I
knew that this must have meant rough work on the part of the
authorities, but I said nothing, and hoped that Carpenter would not
think of it. The Stebbins car drew up by the porte-cochere; and
suddenly I discovered why the wife of the street-car magnate was
known as a “social leader.” “Billy,” she said, “you come in our car,
and bring Mr. Carpenter; I have something to talk to you about.”
Just that easily, you see! She wanted something, so she asked for
it!
I took Carpenter by the arm and put him in. Bertie drove, the
chauffeur sitting in the seat beside him. “Beat you to it!” called
Bertie, with his invincible arrogance, and waved his hand to the
picture magnate as we rolled away.
XIX
As it happened, we made a poor start. Turning the corner into
Broadway, we found ourselves caught in the jam of the theatre
traffic, and our car was brought to a halt in front of the “Empire
Varieties.” If you have been on any Broadway between the Atlantic
and Pacific oceans, you can imagine the sight; the flaring electric
signs, the pictures of the head line artists, the people waiting to
buy tickets, and the crowds on the sidewalk pushing past. There was
one additional feature, a crowd of “rah-rah boys,” with yellow and
purple flags in their hands, and the glory of battle in their eyes.
As our car halted, the cheer-leader gave a signal, and a hundred
throats let out in unison:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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