Thirteen years at the Russian court: (a personal record of the last years and death of the Czar Nicholas II. and his family)Gilliard, Pierre
History
Thirteen years at the Russian court: (a personal record of the last years and death of the Czar Nicholas II. and his family)
Gilliard, Pierre
Nicholas II, Emperor of Russia, 1868-1918; Romanov, House of; Soviet Union -- History -- Revolution, 1917-1921 -- Personal narratives
I understood myself, of course, that circumstances were unfavourable,
but I still cherished a hope that one day the health of my pupil would
improve.
The serious malady from which the Czarevitch had barely recovered had
left him very weak and nervous. At this time he was the kind of child
who can hardly bear correction. He had never been under any regular
discipline. In his eyes I was the person appointed to extract work and
attention from him, and it was my business to bend his will to the habit
of obedience. To all the existing supervision, which at any rate allowed
him idleness as a place of refuge, was to be added a new control which
would violate even that last retreat. He felt it instinctively without
realising it consciously. I had a definite impression of his mute
hostility, and at times it reached a stage of open defiance.
I felt a terrible burden of responsibility, for with all my precautions
it was impossible always to prevent accidents. There were three in the
course of the first month.
Yet as time passed by I felt my authority gaining a hold. I noticed
more and more frequent bursts of confidence on the part of my pupil, and
they seemed to me a promise of affectionate relations before long.
The more the boy opened his heart to me the better I realised the
treasures of his nature, and I gradually began to feel certain that with
so many precious gifts it would be unjust to give up hope.
Alexis Nicolaïevitch was then nine and a half, and rather tall for his
age. He had a long, finely-chiselled face, delicate features, auburn
hair with a coppery glint in it, and large blue-grey eyes like his
mother’s. He thoroughly enjoyed life--when it let him--and was a happy,
romping boy. Very simple in his tastes, he extracted no false
satisfaction from the fact that he was the Heir--there was nothing he
thought about less--and his greatest delight was to play with the two
sons of his sailor Derevenko, both of them a little younger than he.
He had very quick wits and a keen and penetrating mind. He sometimes
surprised me with questions beyond his years which bore witness to a
delicate and intuitive spirit. I had no difficulty in believing that
those who were not forced, as I was, to teach him habits of discipline,
but could unreservedly enjoy his charm, easily fell under its spell.
Under the capricious little creature I had known at first I discovered a
child of a naturally affectionate disposition, sensitive to suffering in
others just because he had already suffered so much himself. When this
conviction had taken root in my mind I was full of hope for the future.
My task would have been easy had it not been for the Czarevitch’s
associates and environment.
* * * * *
As I have already said, I was on excellent terms with Dr. Derevenko.
There was, however, one point on which we were
[Illustration: THE FOUR GRAND-DUCHESSES GATHERING MUSHROOMS IN THE
FOREST OF BIELOVESA. AUTUMN OF 1912.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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