The Czarina spent almost all her time on a _chaise longue_ in the Grand-Duchesses’ room, or else with Alexis Nicolaïevitch. Her anxieties and the emotional strain had exhausted her physically, but since the Czar’s return she had found great moral relief, and lived closely with her own thoughts, speaking little and finally yielding to that urgent need for rest which had long assailed her. She was glad she need struggle no longer and that she could wholly devote herself to those she loved so tenderly. She was now anxious about Marie Nicolaïevna only. The latter had been taken ill much later than her sisters, and her condition was aggravated by a severe attack of pneumonia of a virulent kind. Her constitution was excellent, but she had all she could do to survive. She was also the victim of her own devotion. This girl of seventeen had spent herself without reflection during the revolution. She had been her mother’s greatest comfort and stand-by. During the night of March 13th she had been rash enough to go out with her mother to speak to the soldiers, thus exposing herself to the cold, even though she realised that her illness was beginning. Fortunately the other children were better, and already on the road to convalescence. Our captivity at Tsarskoïe-Selo did not seem likely to last long, and there was talk about our imminent transfer to England. Yet the days passed and our departure was always being postponed. The fact was that the Provisional Government was obliged to deal with the advanced wing and gradually felt that its authority was slipping away from it. Yet we were only a few hours by railway from the Finnish frontier, and the necessity of passing through Petrograd was the only serious obstacle. It would thus appear that if the authorities had acted resolutely and secretly it would not have been difficult to get the Imperial family to one of the Finnish ports and thus to some foreign country. But they were afraid of responsibilities, and no one dare compromise himself. Once more Fate was on guard! CHAPTER XVIII FIVE MONTHS’ CAPTIVITY AT TSARSKOÏE-SELO (MARCH--AUGUST, 1917) The Imperial family remained at Tsarskoïe-Selo until the month of August, 1917. During the five months of this internment with them I kept a diary of our life together. It will be understood that delicacy of feeling prevents me from reproducing it in its entirety. I wish to avoid as much as possible bringing in people who are still alive. I shall, however, break through this reserve when it is a question of dealing with incidents which throw light on the character of the Czar and his family or their feelings during these long months of trial.