Thirty Strange StoriesWells, H. G. (Herbert George)
Science
Thirty Strange Stories
Wells, H. G. (Herbert George)
Fantasy fiction, English; Science fiction, English; Short stories, English
“The chap it got it off was Sir Mohini Padishah, a tremendous swell, a
Piccadilly swell you might say up to the neck of him, and then an ugly
black head and a whopping turban, with this diamond in it. The blessed
bird pecked suddenly and had it, and when the chap made a fuss it
realised it had done wrong, I suppose, and went and mixed itself with
the others to preserve its _incog_. It all happened in a minute. I was
among the first to arrive, and there was this heathen going over his
gods, and two sailors and the man who had charge of the birds laughing
fit to split. It was a rummy way of losing a jewel, come to think of it.
The man in charge hadn’t been about just at the moment, so that he
didn’t know which bird it was. Clean lost, you see. I didn’t feel half
sorry, to tell you the truth. The beggar had been swaggering over his
blessed diamond ever since he came aboard.
“A thing like that goes from stem to stem of a ship in no time. Every
one was talking about it. Padishah went below to hide his feelings. At
dinner—he pigged at a table by himself, him and two other Hindoos—the
captain kind of jeered at him about it, and he got very excited. He
turned round and talked into my ear. He would not buy the birds; he
would have his diamond. He demanded his rights as a British subject. His
diamond must be found. He was firm upon that. He would appeal to the
House of Lords. The man in charge of the birds was one of those
wooden-headed chaps you can’t get a new idea into anyhow. He refused any
proposal to interfere with the birds by way of medicine. His
instructions were to feed them so-and-so and treat them so-and-so, and
it was as much as his place was worth not to feed them so-and-so, and
treat them so-and-so. Padishah had wanted a stomach-pump—though you
can’t do that to a bird, you know. This Padishah was full of bad law,
like most of these blessed Bengalis, and talked of having a lien on the
birds, and so forth. But an old boy, who said his son was a London
barrister, argued that what a bird swallowed became _ipso facto_ part of
the bird, and that Padishah’s only remedy lay in an action for damages,
and even then it might be possible to show contributory negligence. He
hadn’t any right of way about an ostrich that didn’t belong to him. That
upset Padishah extremely, the more so as most of us expressed an opinion
that that was the reasonable view. There wasn’t any lawyer aboard to
settle the matter, so we all talked pretty free. At last, after Aden, it
appears that he came round to the general opinion, and went privately to
the man in charge and made an offer for all five ostriches.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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