The plantation faced the Ohio River, the wooded part of which had been a
camping ground for rebel soldiers, until they were driven out by the
shells of a Yankee gunboat. While hunting pecans in these woods one day,
I stumbled on to an unexploded bombshell, and, boylike, I wanted to see
the thing go off. However, I was afraid to touch it until I had
counseled with the Woods boys, whose father was a renter of a small
tract of ground below the plantation. That night the three of us met and
decided to explode the shell the following Sunday morning, after the
folks had gone to church. I feigned a headache when grandmother wanted
to take me in the carriage with them to church, but when I was satisfied
they were well down the road, I hurried to the strip of forest a mile
away, where the Woods boys were waiting. They had come in a rickety old
buggy drawn by a white mule. It was in autumn and as the leaves were dry
on the ground, we were afraid to kindle a fire, and decided to take the
shell near the tobacco barn, around which we could hide and watch it go
off. Neither of the boys would handle it, so I lifted it into the buggy;
then they were afraid to ride with it, and it was left to me to lead the
mule to the tobacco barn. I hitched the animal to a sapling near the
barn, while the other boys gathered up some kindling, and we made a pile
of old fence posts, and when I had laid the shell upon the log heap, we
lit the kindling with a match and all ran behind the barn, forgetting
all about the mule. The wood was dry and was soon all aflame. Every
little while one of us would peek around the corner to see if the thing
was not about ready to explode. We were getting impatient, when the mule
gave a great “hee haw” that called our attention to his peril. It was
his last “hee haw,” for in a second more the bomb exploded with a
deafening noise, and fragments of the shell screamed like a panther in
the air. We ran around to see the result of the explosion, and behold!
it had spread that mule all over the side of the barn.
The things my grandfather said and did to me when he returned from
church does not concern the public. But when he had finished, I was
fully convinced that I was all to blame, and that I owed Mr. Woods $150
for his demolished mule.
Then followed long lectures from my mother and grandmother, and to add
to my discomfiture was Mr. Woods’ lamentations and his expressed regrets
that it was not me, instead of his mule, that was blown up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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