This FreedomHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
General
This Freedom
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- Social and moral questions -- Fiction
After a time, Flora and her father went away on the great visit to
London. They were to be away over two Sundays. A clergyman was coming
from Ashborough to take service at the church. Rosalie’s father went off
in spirits as high and youthful as the spirits of Flora. For days before
he was quite a different man. Everybody was asked to choose a present
which he would bring back. Everybody chose with much excitement and
chaffing except Anna, who said she could not think of anything. At
meals, father kept on saying how he wished he could regularly make a
point of getting up to town for a bit, it made all the difference being
able to get away from this infernal place for a bit. When herrings were
on the table, he actually came round and did her herring for Rosalie’s
mother and Rosalie’s mother was able to eat the whole of it and said how
delicious it was and how clever father was.
It was all splendid. Rosalie had never known such a jolly spirit in the
house. The only thing that spoilt Rosalie’s happiness in the new jolly
spirit was the nights in Anna’s room. Anna was most frightening to
Rosalie. She prayed now longer than ever, her shoulders moving beneath
her nightgown as if she was shuddering all the time she prayed. And at
night she talked more than ever in her sleep; also she used to get out
of bed at night and walk about the room and talk aloud to herself. It
was frightening.
Then Flora and father were in London and tremendous long letters came
from Flora to her mother and to all: they were buying heaps of dresses
and underclothes and white drill coats and skirts and a riding habit and
goodness knows what all. “A regular trousseau!” wrote Flora with
about seventeen marks of exclamation after the word. And all they were
seeing--they had been to the Lyceum Theatre and seen Mr. Henry Irving
and Miss Ellen Terry and to the Savoy and seen “The Mikado.” Every
moment of the day was taken up and half the night. Oh, this was a change
from Ibbotsfield!
Anna would never listen to the letters. When they were read out, she
either would put her fingers in her ears or go out of the room. And yet,
curiously, she often later in the day would say in a funny constricted
voice, “Let me see Flora’s letter. Give it to me, will you please?” And
would take it away and read it by herself.
Anna was stranger and stranger in her manner and in her behaviour at
night. Rosalie came quite to dread the nights. Anna began to pray out
loud. She used to pray over and over again the same thing: “It’s not
that I’m jealous, O Lord. O purge my heart of jealousy. It is that I see
what could be and what ought to be for me and what never will be for me.
I’ve nothing to look forward to, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. It
is hard for women. O God, thou knowest how hard it is for women.”
It was frightening.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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