--That thought, otherwise just, does not apply to Mademoiselle de La Chaux.
During her recovery we sorted out her schedule. She had more than enough
spirit, imagination, taste and knowledge to be admitted into the Académie des
Inscriptions. She had listened to us wax metaphysical for so long that the
most abstract matters had become familiar to her. Her first literary endeavor
was the translation of Hume´s Essays on Human Understanding. I proofread it,
and to tell you the truth she had left me with very little to rectify. This
translation was printed in Holland and was well received by the public.
My Letter on the Blind and the Dumb appeared at almost the same time. She
raised some very perceptive objections which gave rise to an addition
dedicated to her[6]. I have done worse things than make this addition.
Mademoiselle de La Chaux´s happiness had been somewhat restored. The doctor
cooked for us occasionally and these dinners were not too sorrowful. Since
Gardeil´s estrangement, Le Camus´ passion had made marvelous strides. One
day, at the table during dessert, as he was expressing it with all the
honesty, sensitivity and naïveté of a child, she said to him, with a
sincerity that pleased me greatly but which will perhaps displease others:
`Doctor, it would be impossible to heighten the respect I have for you. Your
kindnesses fulfill me, and I would be as gloomy as the monster of Hyacinthe
Street were I not steeped in the fiercest gratitude. You tell me of your
passion with such grace and sensitivity that I would be, I think, angry if
you were to stop. Just the idea of losing your company or of being deprived
of your friendship is enough to make me miserable. You are a good man, if
there ever was one. Your goodness and sweetness of character is incomparable.
I do not believe that a heart can fall into better hands. I appeal to my own
from morning till night in your favor, but appeal in vain to that which does
not desire it. I am not making any more progress. Meanwhile you will suffer,
and so I feel a vicious pain. I do not know anyone more worthy of the
happiness that you seek, and I do not know what I would not do to make you
happy. Anything is possible, without exception. I mean, doctor, I would... yes,
I would go so far as to sleep... so far as to include that. Do you want to
sleep with me? You only have to say so. That is all I can do for you. But you
want to be loved, and I do not know a way.´
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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