--I had said to you, `So she is very beautiful?´ And you answered sadly,
`No.--She has a good personality?--She is foolish.--So it is her talents that
sway you?--She has but one.--And this rare, sublime, marvelous talent?--Is to
make me happier in her arms than I have ever been with any other woman.´ But
Mademoiselle de La Chaux, the good, sensible Mademoiselle de La Chaux,
secretly counted on, by instinct, unbeknownst to him, the good fortune that
you once knew, and which made you say of la Deschamps: `If this unfortunate
girl, if this despicable woman insists on kicking me out, I will grab a gun
and blow my brains out in her foyer.´ You said that, correct?
--I said it; and even now I do not know why I did not do it.
--Admit it, then.
--I will admit to anything if it pleases you.
--My friend, the wisest amongst us is much happier not having encountered any
woman, beautiful or ugly, clever or foolish, that would drive him mad enough
for the Petites-Maisons. We men complain a great deal, we criticize them
occasionally. We watch the years go by like so many moments, carried off by
the evil that shadows us; and we only think to cower at the strength of
certain natural attractions, especially those of us with sensitive souls or
ardent imaginations. The spark that alights by chance on a powder keg does
not produce so terrible an effect. The finger ready to light the fatal spark
over you or me is perhaps raised.
M. d´Hérouville, wanting to speed up his project, greatly overworked his
colleagues. Gardeil´s health suffered for it. To lighten his load
Mademoiselle de La Chaux learned Hebrew, and while her lover rested she spent
a portion of the night translating and transcribing bits of Hebrew. It came
time to tackle the Greek authors; Mademoiselle de La Chaux rushed to perfect
her then superficial knowledge of this language: while Gardeil slept she was
busy translating and copying passages of Xenophon and Thucydides. She added
Italian and English to her knowledge of Greek and Hebrew. Her English was so
good that she could translate Hume´s first essays on metaphysics into French,
a work whose difficult subject matter added infinitely to the difficulty of
the idiom. When study exhausted her resources she amused herself by writing
music. When she feared her lover might be overcome with ennui she sang. I am
not exaggerating anything, as can be attested to by M. Le Camus, doctor of
medicine, who consoled her when she was troubled and cared for her when she
was in need, who remained by her side in the attic that her poverty had
relegated her to, and who closed her eyes when she died. But I am forgetting
one of her first misfortunes: the persecution that she had to suffer at the
hands of a family outraged by the scandalous and public relationship. Both
truth and lies were employed to dispose of her liberty in a humiliating
manner. Priests and her parents pursued her from quarter to quarter, from
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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