American wit and humor; Evolution (Biology) -- Wit and humor
To consider examples: A discovery that helps them to talk, just to
talk, more and more, will be hailed by these beings as one of the
highest of triumphs. Talking to each other over wires will come in this
class. The lightning when harnessed and tamed will be made to trot
round, conveying the most trivial cacklings all day and night.
Huge seas of talk of every sort and kind, in print, speech, and
writing, will roll unceasingly over their civilized realms, involving
an unbelievable waste in labor and time, and sapping the intelligence
talk is supposed to upbuild. In a simian civilization, great halls will
be erected for lectures, and great throngs will actually pay to go
inside at night to hear some self-satisfied talk-maker chatter for
hours. Almost any subject will do for a lecture, or talk; yet very few
subjects will be counted important enough for the average man to do any
_thinking_ on them, off by himself.
In their futurist books they will dream of an even worse state, a more
dreadful indulgence in communication than the one just described. This
they'll hope to achieve by a system called mental telepathy. They will
long to communicate wordlessly, mind impinging on mind, until all their
minds are awash with messages every moment, and withdrawal from the
stream is impossible anywhere on earth. This will foster the
brotherhood of man. (Conglomerateness being their ideal.) Super-cats
would have invented more barriers instead of more channels.
Discoveries in surgery and medicine will also be over-praised. The
reason will be that the race will so need these discoveries. Unlike the
great cats, simians tend to undervalue the body. Having less
self-respect, less proper regard for their egos, they care less than
the cats do for the casing of the ego,--the body. The more civilized
they grow the more they will let their bodies deteriorate. They will
let their shoulders stoop, their lungs shrink, and their stomachs grow
fat. No other species will be quite so deformed and distorted.
Athletics they will watch, yes, but on the whole sparingly practise.
Their snuffy old scholars will even be proud to decry them. Where once
the simians swung high through forests, or scampered like deer, their
descendants will plod around farms, or mince along city streets, moving
constrictedly, slowly, their litheness half gone.
They will think of Nature as "something to go out and look at." They
will try to live wholly apart from her and forget they're her sons.
Forget? They will even deny it, and declare themselves sons of God. In
spite of her wonders they will regard Nature as somehow too humble to
be the true parent of such prominent people as simians. They will lose
all respect for the dignity of fair Mother Earth, and whisper to each
other she is an evil and indecent old person. They will snatch at her
gifts, pry irreverently into her mysteries, and ignore half the
warnings they get from her about how to live.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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