viewed in a variety of lights. But after a time he came to see that the
internal evidence deserved a higher place than he had assigned to it.
When his article was expanded into his treatise on the _Evidences of
Christianity_, the internal branch was duly acknowledged.
But before the article was finished, Chalmers, who was then in his
thirtieth year, passed through the ordeal of a very severe illness,
which confined him to his room for four months, prevented him from
entering his pulpit for six months, and affected him more or less for a
whole year. He believed that he was about to die. The whole subject of
religion assumed a new aspect of importance in his eyes. He came to see
that he had been living without God, and the discovery appalled him.
The will of God now became an imperative rule to him, and every energy
was bent towards bringing his own heart and life into conformity to it.
In such a man as Pascal the sublime transition had been made from the
highest walks of mathematical science to the still higher walk of faith.
Might not he be able to realise what Pascal had achieved? For a whole
year Chalmers laboured to effect this change. His friends could not
fail to mark the difference. Brief but solemn allusions such as they
had never heard before would drop from his lips. But in many respects
he was still the same. ’There were the same cordial greetings, the same
kindly questionings about themselves and all their friends, and the same
hearty laugh at the racy anecdote or stroke of quiet humour; for, great
as was the change effected, neither at the first nor ever afterwards did
it damp or narrow that genial and most social spirit which carried him
into varied intercourse with all classes of his fellow-men, and made the
joy of that intercourse to be a very cordial to his heart.’ But, deeply
solemnised though he was, he had not attained the peace that passeth
understanding, nor had he learned the precious act of free and loving
fellowship with his Father in heaven.
During all this time he was ever keeping a most vigilant eye on his
habits and life, and in a diary now begun we find him pulling himself up
for every little fault, every loss of temper, every bitter word, every
conceited feeling. And he is constantly praying for forgiveness and for
strength. He is making progress in theological knowledge, finding, for
example, a far higher place in his regard for the atonement of Jesus
Christ. A very strong mark of his earnestness is seen in his
determination finally to give up his mathematical reading, and devote
himself to theology.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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