‘About the age of fourteen I was,’ he says, ‘almost every
night unhappy in my sleep from frightful dreams: sometimes
hanging over a dreadful precipice, and just ready to drop down;
sometimes pursued for my life and stopped by a wall, or by a
sudden loss of strength; sometimes ready to be devoured by a
wild beast. How long I was plagued with such dreams I do not
recollect. I believe it was for a year or two at least; and I
think they had left me before I was fifteen. In those days I
was much given to what Mr. Addison in one of his “Spectators”
calls _castle-building_; and in my evening solitary walk (which
was generally all the exercise I took), my thoughts would hurry
me into some active scene, where I generally acquitted myself
much to my own satisfaction, and in those scenes of imagination
I performed many a gallant exploit. At the same time, in my
dreams I found myself the most arrant coward. Not only my
courage but my strength failed me in every danger; and I often
rose from my bed in the morning in such a panic that it took
some time to get the better of it. I wished much to get free of
these uneasy dreams, which not only made me unhappy in sleep,
but left a disagreeable impression on my mind for some part of
the following day. I thought it was worth trying whether it
was possible to recollect while I was dreaming that it _was_
all a dream, and that I was in no danger. Accordingly, I often
went to sleep with my mind as strongly impressed as I could
with this thought—that I never in my lifetime had been in any
real danger, and that every fright I had was a dream. After
many fruitless endeavours to recollect this when the danger
appeared, I effected it at last, and have often, when I was
sliding down a precipice into the abyss, recollected that it
was all a dream, and boldly jumped down. The effect of this
commonly was that I immediately awoke; but I awoke calm and
intrepid, which I thought a great acquisition. After this my
dreams were never very uneasy; and in a short time I dreamed
not at all. During all this time I was in perfect health; but
whether my ceasing to dream was the effect of the recollection
above mentioned, or of any change in the habit of my body,
which is usual about that period of life, I cannot tell. I
think it may more probably be imputed to the last. However, the
fact was that for at least forty years after I dreamt none,
to the best of my remembrance; and finding from the testimony
of others that this is somewhat uncommon, I have often as I
awoke endeavoured to recollect, without being able to recollect
anything that passed in my sleep. The only distinct dream I
ever had since I was about sixteen, as far as I remember, was
about two years ago (1777). I had got my head blistered for a
fall.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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