Christian fiction; Wingfold, Thomas (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
Helen had not yet thought of asking herself whether her love to her
brother was all clear love, and nowise mingled with selfishness--whether
in the fresh horror that day poured into the cup that had seemed
already running over, it was of her brother only she thought, or whether
threatened shame to herself had not a part in her misery. But, as far as
she was aware, she was quite honest in saying that the curate could not
comfort him--for what attempt even had he made to comfort her? What had
he done but utter common-places and truisms about duty? And who could
tell but--indeed was she not certain that such a man, bringing
the artillery of his fanaticism to bear upon her poor boy’s wild
enthusiastic temperament, would speedily persuade him to make a reality
of that terrible thing he had already thought of, that hideously
impossible possibility which she dared not even allow to present itself
before her imagination? So he lay and moaned, and she sat crushed and
speechless with despairing misery.
All at once Leopold sat straight up, his eyes fixed and flaming, his
face white: he looked like a corpse possessed by a spirit of fear and
horror. Helen’s heart swelled into her throat, the muscles of her face
contracted with irresistible rigor, and she felt it grow exactly like
his, while with wide eyes she stared at him, and he stared at something
which lest she also should see, she dared not turn her head. Surely, she
thought afterwards, she must have been that moment in the presence of
something unearthly! Her physical being was wrenched from her control,
and she must simply sit and wait until the power or influence, whichever
it might be, should pass away. How long it was ere it relaxed its hold
she could not tell; it could not have been long, she thought. Suddenly
the light sank from Leopold’s eyes, his muscles relaxed, he fell back
motionless, apparently senseless, on the pillow, and she thought he was
dead. The same moment she was free; the horror had departed from her own
atmosphere too, and she made haste to restore him. But in all she did
for him, she felt like the executioner who gives restoratives to the
wretch that has fainted on the rack or the wheel. What right had SHE,
she thought, to multiply to him his moments of torture? If the cruel
power that had created him for such misery, whoever, whatever, wherever
he might be, chose thus to torture him, was she, his only friend, out of
the selfish affection he had planted in her, to lend herself his tool?
Yet she hesitated not a single moment in her ministrations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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