Christian fiction; Wingfold, Thomas (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
unbeliefs? He had plenty of sermons--old, yellow, respectable sermons,
not lithographed, neither composed by mind nor copied out by hand
unknown, but in the neat writing of his old D.D. uncle, so legible that
he never felt it necessary to read them over beforehand--just saw that
he had the right one. A hundred and fifty-seven such sermons, the odd
one for the year that began on a Sunday, of unquestionable orthodoxy,
had his kind old uncle left him in his will, with the feeling probably
that he was not only setting him up in sermons for life, but giving him
a fair start as well in the race of which a stall in some high cathedral
was the goal. For his own part he had never made a sermon, at least
never one he had judged worth preaching to a congregation. He had rather
a high idea, he thought, of preaching, and these sermons of his uncle
he considered really excellent. Some of them, however, were altogether
doctrinal, some very polemical: of such he must now beware. He would see
of what kind was the next in order; he would read it and make sure it
contained nothing he was not, in some degree at least, prepared to hold
his face to and defend--if he could not absolutely swear he believed it
purely true.
He did as resolved. The first he took up was in defence of the
Athanasian creed! That would not do. He tried another. That was upon the
Inspiration of the Scriptures. He glanced through it--found Moses on a
level with St. Paul, and Jonah with St. John, and doubted greatly. There
might be a sense--but--! No, he would not meddle with it. He tried a
third: that was on the Authority of the Church. It would not do. He had
read each of all these sermons, at least once, to a congregation, with
perfect composure and following indifference, if not peace of mind, but
now he could not come on one with which he was even in sympathy--not
to say one of which he was certain that it was more true than false. At
last he took up the odd one--that which could come into use but once in
a week of years--and this was the sermon Bascombe heard and commented
upon. Having read it over, and found nothing to compromise him with his
conscience, which was like an irritable man trying to find his way in a
windy wood by means of a broken lantern, he laid all the rest aside and
felt a little relieved.
Wingfold had never neglected the private duty of a clergyman in regard
of morning and evening devotions, but was in the habit of dressing and
undressing his soul with the help of certain chosen contents of the
prayer-book--a somewhat circuitous mode of communicating with Him who
was so near him,--that is, if St. Paul was right in saying that he
lived, and moved, and was, IN Him; but that Saturday he knelt by his
bedside at noon, and began to pray or try to pray as he had never
prayed or tried to pray before. The perplexed man cried out within the
clergyman, and pressed for some acknowledgment from God of the being he
had made.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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