Christian fiction; Wingfold, Thomas (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
It is far from my intention to follow the disagreeable topic across
the pathless swamp through which an elaboration of its phases would
necessarily drag me. Of morbid anatomy, save for the setting forth of
cure, I am not fond, and here there is nothing to be said of cure. What
concerns me as a narrator is, that Emmeline consoled and irritated and
re-consoled Leopold, until she had him her very slave, and the more
her slave that by that time he knew something of her character. The
knowledge took from him what little repose she had left him; he did no
more good at school, and went to Cambridge with the conviction that
the woman to whom he had given his soul, would be doing things in his
absence the sight of which would drive him mad. Yet somehow he continued
to live, reassured now and then by the loving letters she wrote to
him, and relieving his own heart while he fostered her falsehood by the
passionate replies he made to them.
From a sad accident of his childhood, he had become acquainted with
something of the influences of a certain baneful drug, to the use of
which one of his attendants was addicted, and now at college, partly
from curiosity, partly from a desire to undergo its effects, but chiefly
in order to escape from ever-gnawing and passionate thought, he began to
make EXPERIMENTS in its use. Experiment called for repetition--in order
to verification, said the fiend,--and repetition led first to a longing
after its effects, and next to a mad appetite for the thing itself; so
that, by the time of which my narrative treats, he was on the verge of
absolute slavery to its use, and in imminent peril of having to pass the
rest of his life in alternations of ecstasy and agony, divided by dull
spaces of misery, the ecstasies growing rarer and rarer, and the agonies
more and more frequent, intense, and lasting; until at length the
dethroned Apollo found himself chained to a pillar of his own ruined
temple, which the sirocco was fast filling with desert sand.
CHAPTER XXVII.
LEOPOLD’S STORY CONCLUDED.
He knew from her letters that they were going to give a ball, at which
as many as pleased should be welcome in fancy dresses, and masked if
they chose. The night before it he had a dream, under the influence of
his familiar no doubt, which made him so miserable and jealous that
he longed to see her as a wounded man longs for water, and the thought
arose of going down to the ball, not exactly in disguise, for he had no
mind to act a part, but masked so that he should not be recognised
as uninvited, and should have an opportunity of watching Emmeline,
concerning whose engagement with a young cavalry officer there had
lately been reports, which, however, before his dream, had caused him
less uneasiness than many such preceding. The same moment the thought
was a resolve.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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