England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Villages -- England -- Fiction
But to David at this moment the end seemed to have been within his reach
and to have been missed. The power which he believed himself to have
attained over some of the minds, or rather the affections of those with
whom he had been brought in contact, directly it was touched by the test
of self-interest, even in its basest form, failed. He told himself
bitterly that if a passing emotion led them to ask how they might flee
from the wrath to come, with something of the spirit which urged the
Ephesians to burn their books, the Florentines to cast aside their
vanities at the bidding of Savonarola,--when the emotion passed, the
older selfishness reasserted its sway. As for himself, what was he to
them? A humpbacked preacher, to whom novelty would attract them, but
for whom not one would turn out of his way to send after him so much as
a kindly word. The sense of desolation which surged up in his heart as
he thought this was so terrible that great drops stood on his forehead
and his limbs trembled. In spite of himself, he had never lost the hope
that Faith might have faced his lot, and clung to him: but Faith had
given him up; the boy for whom he had been pinching himself had run
away; the man whom he called friend had crushed his last hopes of
gaining what he believed absolutely necessary to the success of his
work. Everything was against him. Men clung to the wreck from which he
would have dragged them, hurt him with hard words, turned their faces
from him; and standing there, solitary, in a room heavy with the
remembrance of the boy who had shared and left it, David cried out in
the anguish of his heart as though some one had smitten him a deadly
blow. Yet with it all there was no faltering of his resolution, no
holding back of his hand. He would go out again that evening, walk all
the night if it were necessary, once more to bring back the last lost.
As he passed along the street to the office, the boys jeered at him.
"Thyur's another pracher for the Mormuns!"
"Wann be'm going, Jim?"
"Doan't 'ee know? Whay, wann thyur's a lot more money scraped up for to
build a chapel." Although David walked along without paying any
apparent regard, each word fell like a lash on his sore heart, on which
the burden of the other man's deeds seemed to be heaped.
He went through his work dully and mechanically, but without failing in
any point of its routine. He was, however, detained at the office until
a later hour than usual, owing to a delay on the line, and he made up
his mind, in the intervals during which he allowed his mind to dwell on
the subject, to search for Nat Wills in Underham itself before going
farther; thinking it not unlikely, from some words the boy had let drop,
that he would find a hiding-place there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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