Artists and patrons -- Fiction; Authors and readers -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Italy -- Fiction; Satire
Carefully, as though I were a crate of very valuable china, they turned
me right way up. I was aware of the strong sunshine, of a throbbing
headache centred somewhere above the left temple, of a crowd of people
standing round. With deliberation and consciously I breathed the air;
loud voices shouted instructions. Two people began to rub the soles of
my feet. A third ran up with a child’s bucket full of sun-scorched sand
and poured it on the pit of my stomach. This happy thought immediately
had an immense success. All the curious and sympathetic spectators who
had been standing round my corpse, looking on while Professor Schaefer
was being applied to me and wishing that they could do something to
help, now discovered that there was actually something helpful that they
could do. They could help to restore my circulation by sprinkling hot
sand on me. In a moment I had a dozen sympathisers busy around me,
skimming the cream off the hot tideless beach in little buckets, with
spades or in the palms of their scooping hands, to pour it over me. In a
few seconds I was almost buried under a mound of burning grey sand. On
the faces of all my good Samaritans I noticed an expression of
child-like earnestness. They rushed backwards and forwards with their
little buckets as though there were nothing more serious in life than
building sand castles on the stomachs of drowned men. And the children
themselves joined in. Horrified at first by the spectacle of my limp and
livid corpse, they had clung to paternal hands, shrunk away behind
protecting skirts, looking on while Professor Schaefer was being
practised on me, with a reluctant and disgusted curiosity. But when I
had come alive again, when they saw their elders burying me with sand
and understood that it was really only a tremendously good game, then
how violent was their reaction! Shrilly laughing, whooping with
excitement and delight, they rushed on me with their little implements.
It was only with difficulty that they could be prevented from throwing
handfuls of sand in my face, from pouring it into my ears, from making
me eat it. And one small boy, ambitious to do something that nobody else
had done, rushed down to the sea, filled his bucket with water and stale
foam, ran back and emptied its contents, with what a shout of triumph!
plop, from a height on to my solar plexus.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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