Artists and patrons -- Fiction; Authors and readers -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Italy -- Fiction; Satire
From circular niches set high in the walls of the huge square room the
lords of Massa Carrara looked out, bust after bust, across the
intervening centuries. Right round the room they went, beginning on the
left of the fireplace and ending, with the penultimate Cybo Malaspina,
who arranged the room, on the right. And as marquess succeeded marquess
and prince, prince, an expression of ever profounder imbecility made
itself apparent on the faces of the Ancestors. The vulture’s nose, the
formidable jaw of the first robber marquess transformed themselves by
gradual degrees into the vague proboscides of ant-eaters, into
criminally prognathous deformities. The foreheads grew lower with every
generation, the marble eyes stared ever blanklier and the look of
conscious pride became more and more strongly marked on every
countenance. It was the boast of the Cybo Malaspina that they had never
married beneath them and that their heirs had always been legitimate.
One had only to look at the faces of the last three Princes to feel sure
that the boast was amply justified. Were these the Muses’ friends?
“You can imagine the splendour of the scene,” said Mrs. Aldwinkle
rapturously as she entered the Saloon of the Ancestors on Calamy’s arm.
“The innumerable candles, the silks, the jewels. And all the crowd
manœuvring in the most stately manner according to the rules of
etiquette.” The last representative, albeit adoptive, of these gorgeous
beings, Mrs. Aldwinkle lifted her head still higher and with a still
more swelling port sailed across the huge room towards the little table
where, in shrunken splendour, the successors of Cybo Malaspina were to
dine. The train of her coral-coloured velvet dress rustled after her.
“It must have been very fine,” Calamy agreed. “Certainly, from the point
of view of picturesqueness, we’ve lost by the passing of etiquette. One
wonders how much further informality will go. Mr. Gladstone, in his old
age, paid a visit to Oxford and was horrified to observe the new
fashions in undergraduate’s dress. In his young days every young man who
respected himself had at least one pair of trousers in which he never
sat down for fear of making them bag at the knees, while the outfit in
which he normally walked about the streets was never worth less than
seventy or eighty pounds. And yet, in the time of Mr. Gladstone’s visit,
the undergraduates still wore stiff collars and bowler hats. What would
he have said if he could have seen them now? And what shall we say fifty
years hence?”
The company disposed itself round the table. Calamy, as the new arrival,
occupied the place of honour on Mrs. Aldwinkle’s right.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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