Artists and patrons -- Fiction; Authors and readers -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Italy -- Fiction; Satire
Lord Hovenden detached from his motor car was an entirely different
being from the Lord Hovenden who lounged with such a deceptive air of
languor behind the steering-wheel of a Vauxhall Velox. Half an hour
spent in the roaring wind of his own speed transformed him from a shy
and diffident boy into a cool-headed hero, daring not merely in the
affairs of the road, but in the affairs of life as well. The fierce wind
blew away his diffidence; the speed intoxicated him out of his
self-consciousness. All his victories had been won while he was in the
car. It was in the car—eighteen months ago, before he came of age—that
he had ventured to ask his guardian to increase his allowance; and he
had driven faster and faster until, in sheer terror, his guardian had
agreed to do whatever he wished. It was on board the Velox that he had
ventured to tell Mrs. Terebinth, who was seventeen years older than he,
had four children and adored her husband, that she was the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen; he had bawled it at her while they
were doing seventy-five on the Great North Road. At sixty, at
sixty-five, at seventy, his courage had still been inadequate to the
achievement; but at seventy-five it reached the sticking-point: he had
told her. And when she laughed and told him that he was an impudent
young shrimp, he felt not a whit abashed, but laughed back, pressed the
accelerator down a little further, and when the needle of the
speedometer touched eighty, shouted through the wind and the noise of
the engine: “But I love you.” Unfortunately, however, the drive came to
an end soon after; all drives must come to an end, sooner or later. The
_affaire_ Terebinth went no further. If only, Lord Hovenden regretfully
sighed, if only one could spend all one’s life in the Velox! But the
Velox had its disadvantages. There were occasions when the heroic,
speed-intoxicated self had got the timorous pedestrian into awkward
scrapes. There was that time, for example, when, rolling along at sixty,
he had airily promised one of his advanced political friends to make a
speech at a meeting. The prospect, while one was doing sixty, had seemed
not merely unalarming, but positively attractive. But what agonies he
suffered when he was standing on the solid earth again, at his journey’s
end! How impossibly formidable the undertaking seemed! How bitterly he
cursed himself for his folly in having accepted the invitation! In the
end he was reduced to telegraphing that his doctor had ordered him
peremptorily to the south of France. He fled, ignominiously.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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