Thoth: A RomanceNicholson, J. Shield (Joseph Shield)
Science
Thoth: A Romance
Nicholson, J. Shield (Joseph Shield)
English fiction -- 19th century
Regretful thoughts succeeded one another rapidly. Thoth was evidently
a great ruler, who had been accustomed to the most slavish obedience.
He was, or had been, desirous of effecting a revolution in the
treatment of women, and he had for months treated her with deference
and tenderness. Had she rejected his proposal as calmly as it was made,
had she not attempted to get fire from snow, at any rate he would
have kept to his word and restored her to Greece. She ought to have
understood how the nature of the man must have been distorted by his
descent through generations of women-haters, and to have wondered at
the advances which he had made instead of expecting the impossible.
Never, she thought, could she have become his wife, but she might have
been his devoted friend. She would have encouraged him in his projects
of reform,—she could have liberated her fellow-women.
Now all was over. She felt covered with shame as she thought how she
must have appeared to Thoth,—worse than a sensuous Persian—a mere
animal. How he must have despised her when she actually suggested that
he should surrender himself to her, as the first of his name to the
woman who deceived him.
She despised herself, and for the moment her spirit was crushed. She
longed for some sympathy.
She called on her little servants—there was no answer. She went to the
door—it was fastened. She was confined in solitude. She wept bitterly.
* * * * *
But after a time her courage and resolution revived, and she thought of
the only means of escape now open—death by her own hand.
The sun was high in the heaven, and the garden of the palace was still
open to her. She determined to drink again of the freshness of life
before she died.
She walked along the beautiful paths, and watched with pleasure the
birds and insects. Earth and air seemed full of life, and death seemed
terrible. She recalled the wretched fate of the heroines of her native
tragic poets. Before she had often wondered why they had not put a term
to their sufferings by a moment’s pain. She knew now.
It seemed to her a thing impossible in nature—deliberately to take
one’s life, even to avoid misery. She repented that she had not already
done the deed when passion had given her courage. The point of the
dagger seemed very cold and hard,—life seemed very sweet, and in the
glaring sun the gloom of death seemed most black and dismal. At least,
if permitted, she must wait till night.
Then she thought on what might have been her fate—on love unknown and
hopes shattered.
Again her courage and resolution vanished, and she trembled. She longed
with every fibre of her being for some creature to speak with. She
almost began to talk to the birds and lizards.
Suddenly her heart stood still with joy—she heard through the trees
the twittering song of one of the pigmies, and she rushed in pursuit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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