Three Courses and a Dessert: Comprising Three Sets of Tales, West Country, Irish, and Legal; and a MelangeClarke, William
General
Three Courses and a Dessert: Comprising Three Sets of Tales, West Country, Irish, and Legal; and a Melange
Clarke, William
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Legal stories, English; West Country (England) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“Farmer Salter,” pursued Abel, as Gough nodded in acquiescence,
and Salter chuckled at what he had said; “I repeat, you are a
freeholder:--you've a slip of land between the two 'squires' estates,
upon which you and your forefathers ha' grazed a cow, raised a crop
of wheat, hay and potatoes, to last'ee for the year; and built a small
edifice for yourselves, and a sty for your pigs: you do wear a looped
hat at all times, and, on Sundays, a blue coat, wi' a red collar and
cuffs, and crown pieces of the reign of King Jacobus, for buttons; a
flowered and flapped waistcoat; leather breeches, wi' seven-shilling
pieces and silver buckles at the knees; and half a pack o' cards figured
wi' colours in each o' your stockings: you do strut up to church, just
as a 'squire would, and your father did,--whose finery you ha' saved for
such service,--half a century ago:--but you know nothing either of law
or good breeding for all that, fanner Salter.”
The freeholder was about to bristle up indignantly when Abel concluded,
but Zachary Tickel, the hereditary herbalist, or, as he
denominated himself, apothecary of the village, whose nick-name was
“Bitter-Aloes,”--and there were few of his neighbours who were not as
well known by some equally appropriate baptismal of the laity,--took him
by the collar, and endeavoured to tranquillize, while he forcibly held
him on his seat:--meantime, the supervisor inquired what had induced the
constable to suspect Robert Braintree of the murder.
“Why, zir,” said Mudford, cutting in, as a coachman would express it,
before Abel and the exciseman, (each of whom intended to reply,) while
the asthmatic constable was cleansing his throat by two or three hems,
and the exciseman was puffing out a magazine of smoke, which, at that
moment, he had drawn into his mouth, to be retailed and divided into a
dozen or twenty whiffs;--“the vact, zir, is this,” said Mudford; “the
body were vound, dead and stiff, this morning, in the copse, t'other
zide o' the hill;--there was a nail or more of znow on the ground, and
vootsteps ov a dog and a man were traced vrom the body to Braintree's
cottage:--the dog's vootsteps were, likely enough, the vootsteps ov
Ponto, a dog belonging to the Braintrees; a zort ov a crossbred pointer,
az ztrong as a bull, and wi' more zense in his tail-end, as the zaying
is, than many men ha' got in their whole bodies, head and all.”
“The shoe-marks, permit me to observe,” said Abel, “were decidedly made
by the shoes of Bob Braintree:--I've sworn to't, because I compared'em;
and I apprehended him wi' those identical shoes on his feet.”
“Now, d'ye hear, volks?--d'ye hear?” exclaimed farmer Salter; “how
Yeabel do belabour us wi' vine dixonary words? 'Apprehended,' and
'identical,' quotha!--Why, I should be azhamed to talk zo-vashion.
'Those identical zhoes!' zays he;--'those!'--Bless us, how vine we
be!--'Those,' vorsooth!--Why doan't the vool zay 'they there zhoes,'
like a man?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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