Confident that I speak the truth and shall be believed, I declare without
hesitation that I followed the ghost, in the first instance on a
broom-stick, and afterwards on a rocking-horse. The very smell of the
animal’s paint—especially when I brought it out, by making him warm—I am
ready to swear to. I followed the ghost, afterwards, in a hackney coach;
an institution with the peculiar smell of which, the present generation
is unacquainted, but to which I am again ready to swear as a combination
of stable, dog with the mange, and very old bellows. (In this, I appeal
to previous generations to confirm or refute me.) I pursued the phantom,
on a headless donkey: at least, upon a donkey who was so interested in
the state of his stomach that his head was always down there,
investigating it; on ponies, expressly born to kick up behind; on
roundabouts and swings, from fairs; in the first cab—another forgotten
institution where the fare regularly got into bed, and was tucked up with
the driver.
Not to trouble you with a detailed account of all my travels in pursuit
of the ghost of Master B., which were longer and more wonderful than
those of Sinbad the Sailor, I will confine myself to one experience from
which you may judge of many.
I was marvellously changed. I was myself, yet not myself. I was
conscious of something within me, which has been the same all through my
life, and which I have always recognised under all its phases and
varieties as never altering, and yet I was not the I who had gone to bed
in Master B.’s room. I had the smoothest of faces and the shortest of
legs, and I had taken another creature like myself, also with the
smoothest of faces and the shortest of legs, behind a door, and was
confiding to him a proposition of the most astounding nature.
This proposition was, that we should have a Seraglio.
The other creature assented warmly. He had no notion of respectability,
neither had I. It was the custom of the East, it was the way of the good
Caliph Haroun Alraschid (let me have the corrupted name again for once,
it is so scented with sweet memories!), the usage was highly laudable,
and most worthy of imitation. “O, yes! Let us,” said the other creature
with a jump, “have a Seraglio.”
It was not because we entertained the faintest doubts of the meritorious
character of the Oriental establishment we proposed to import, that we
perceived it must be kept a secret from Miss Griffin. It was because we
knew Miss Griffin to be bereft of human sympathies, and incapable of
appreciating the greatness of the great Haroun. Mystery impenetrably
shrouded from Miss Griffin then, let us entrust it to Miss Bule.
We were ten in Miss Griffin’s establishment by Hampstead Ponds; eight
ladies and two gentlemen. Miss Bule, whom I judge to have attained the
ripe age of eight or nine, took the lead in society. I opened the
subject to her in the course of the day, and proposed that she should
become the Favourite.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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