Three Lancashire Plays: The Game; The Northerners; ZackBrighouse, Harold
General
Three Lancashire Plays: The Game; The Northerners; Zack
Brighouse, Harold
English drama -- 20th century; Lancashire (England) -- Drama; Political plays
Virginia. No wonder your coat fits like a sack. Give it me.
Zack. You're not going to take it off me because I didn't use it, are
you?
Virginia. I'm going to use it. Sit down. (_She pushes him into chair
and puts towel round his neck._) Tell me why you carried this about with
you.
Zack. It's because I------ (_hesitates._)
Virginia. Well?
Zack. Because you gave it me.
Virginia. I gave it you for use. Keep still now. (_She trims his beard
with scissors._)
Zack. Yes, Jenny. I know, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. They're
too grand for using on the likes of me. Oh! (_She deliberately pricks
him._)
Virginia. What is it?
Zack. You ran the scissors into me. It doesn't matter though.
(_She pricks again._)
Oh, Jenny, that did hurt a bit.
Virginia. I meant it to. Don't you dare to say it doesn't matter when
you're hurt or I'll hurt you again.
Zack. No, Jenny.
(_She turns to table and makes lather._)
Virginia. And when I give you anything and tell you to use it, you
won't imagine it's too grand for you. You'll use it; (_Her back is still
turned to him. He fingers the stubble on his chin and nervously holds
the chair-arms, watching her timorously._)
Zack. Yes, Jenny.
Virginia (_turning with lather-brush_). Very well. Now I can start
talking to you. (_She holds brush poised. He eyes it._)
Zack. You've not done badly up to now for a non-starter. (_She puts
brush in his mouth_). Oof!
Virginia (_lathering_). If you open your mouth again unless I tell you
to, that's what you'll get. Now, Zack Munning, who do you think you are?
(_Stands from him_). You may answer.
Zack. Well I suppose I'm---- I dunno. I'm nobody much.
Virginia (_approaching and lathering_). You can't answer. Then I'll tell
you. You are not nobody. You're a person of considerable importance. For
one thing, you're the mainstay of your mother's business. When you go
to weddings, they're liked, and when you don't they're disliked. Paul is
not popular. You are. You may speak.
Zack. You've no right to run down Paul like that, Jenny.
Virginia. I'm not running him down. I'm putting him in his place in
comparison with you. Now, is that understood? You're of more value here
than he is.
Zack. Oh, but, Jenny--oof! (_He gets the brush in his mouth._)
Virginia. If you like a mouthful of soap at every word I utter you can
have it. If you don't, sit quiet and listen. Where was I coming to? Oh
yes. Martha Wrigley. You didn't love her, Zack. Why did you let them
force her on to you?
Zack. I do hate argument, Jenny. Paul argued and Joe argued and he's a
powerful voice for arguing has Joe, and so I just said "yes" to make an
end of it.
Virginia (_taking razor_). You'd better turn round to the light now. I
don't want to plough your face. Carry the chair to the window.
Zack. Yes, Jenny.
Virginia. Sit down and let me see what I can make of you. (_She
shaves._) You just said "Yes" to save yourself the trouble of saying
"No" and never thought of anybody else but Paul and Joe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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