Three Lancashire Plays: The Game; The Northerners; ZackBrighouse, Harold
General
Three Lancashire Plays: The Game; The Northerners; Zack
Brighouse, Harold
English drama -- 20th century; Lancashire (England) -- Drama; Political plays
Zack (_moving in protest_). Oh yes, I did, Jenny.
Virginia (_alarmed_). Be careful, Zack. I don't want to cut you.
Zack. Well, I did think of some one else.
Virginia. Who?
Zack. I thought of Martha.
Virginia. Never mind Martha.
Zack. But I must mind her. She looked to me for consolation did Martha,
and I don't think Paul's as good at consoling a wench as I am.
Virginia. Oh? So we've found something we're better at than he is, have
we?
Zack. I'm bound to think of Martha's feelings, Jenny.
Virginia. Martha's parading the high street with Paul. Her feelings are
all right.
Zack. My conscience isn't easy about her, Jenny. We've been called in
church together and----
Virginia (_holding out razor_). And you can finish shaving by yourself.
Zack. But I don't know how. I've never used a razor in my life.
(_Virginia puts razor on table. Zack rises, half shaved._)
Virginia. It's time you learned.
Zack. You were getting on so well.
Virginia. So were you till you began to talk rubbish about Martha
Wrigley. Go and ask her to finish shaving you.
Zack. Have I said anything to offend you, Jenny?
Virginia. Have you said----? You think a lot about other people, Zack.
Do you never think of me?
Zack. I do that. But it's not the same.
Virginia. The same as what?
Zack. It's common thinking when I think of them. When I think of you
it's something a bit special. It's thinking with my hat off, like going
into church. It's Sunday best and I couldn't bring myself to talk of it
the same way as I'd talk of them. It's not for talking of at all. It's
holylike. That's why I haven't mentioned it.
Virginia (_takes up razor. Zack flinches_). Sit down again. I'll finish
shaving you.
Zack. Will you, Jenny? (_He sits._)
Virginia. Yes. Don't talk or you'll get cut. Now listen, Zack. Martha
Wrigley's getting what she wants. She's marrying Paul and she'll be the
proudest woman in the place. So you can put her out of mind. If you
want to say "good-bye" to her, you can go and say it when I've finished
shaving you. Only you'll say it in words. You're a bit too free with
your consolations, and I've not shaved you for Martha Wrigley to have
the benefit of your virgin chin. You've finished with her, Zack, you
understand?
Zack. Yes, Jenny.
Virginia. Very well. Now you can get up and look at yourself in that
glass.
Zack (_peering into glass in lid of shaving set_). Why, Jenny, I'd not
have known myself. Is yon lad me?
Virginia. It's you.
Zack. Well, I tell you what, Jenny, if I'd met that face in the lane on
anybody else but me, I'd have said he wasn't a bad looking chap at all.
Virginia. It's not a face you're meeting in the lane. It's your face.
Zack. That's the surprising part about it. Why, it's very near worth
taking the trouble to shave every day.
Virginia. I'll see you take the trouble.
Zack. And I'll look like this every day!
Virginia. You will.
Zack. Well, but if that's so, and I'm free of Martha, why.... No. I'm
getting ahead too fast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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