On Saturday Ilya stood with the old man on the church steps between the
two doors, with the beggars. Whenever the outer door was opened, Ilya
felt the cold air blowing in from the street, his feet were numbed,
and he moved gently with short steps up and down on the pavement.
But he saw through the glass panes of the church door how the candle
flames made beautiful patterns of quivering points of gold, and lit up
the glimmering metal on the priest's garments, the dark heads of the
reverent multitude, the faces in the sacred pictures and the splendid
carving of the holy shrines.
People seemed better and kinder in the church than in the street. They
looked more beautiful too in the golden candlelight that illuminated
their dark forms, standing in reverent silence. Whenever the inner
door opened there streamed out on the steps the solemn, deep-toned
waves of song, warm, heavy with incense; gently they wrapped the lad
round, and he breathed in the sweet-scented air, with delight. It was
good to him to stand there beside old Jeremy, as he murmured prayers.
He heard the glorious, solemn song that flooded the house of God, and
waited impatiently for the door to open again and let the loud, joyful
sound sweep over him, and the warm balsam-laden air cling round his
being. He knew that up there in the church choir Grishka Bubnov was
singing, one of the worst of his tormentors in the school, and Fedka
Dolganov, too, a strong, quarrelsome lout, who had thrashed him more
than once. But now he felt no hate towards them nor desire for revenge,
only a little envy. He would have liked to sing in the choir and see
the faces of the people. It must be so beautiful to sing there at the
middle door by the altar, high above the people, and see their quiet,
peaceful faces. When he left the church, he felt as though he had
grown better and was ready to be reconciled to Bubnov and Dolganov and
all his schoolfellows. But on the following Monday, he came home from
school sombre and affronted even as before.
Everywhere, where men are gathered together in any numbers, there will
be one who is ill at ease among them, and it is not at all necessary
that he should be either worse or better than the rest. The ill-will
of a crowd can be aroused by a lack of intelligence or by a ridiculous
nose. It simply chooses some one as the object of its sport, inspired
by nothing but the wish to amuse itself. In this case the lot had
fallen on Ilya Lunev. No doubt in the course of time, he would have
ceased to fill the _rôle_ that his comrades had allotted to him, but
now there came into Ilya's life, events that shook his soul profoundly
with their terrible impressions, and so far lessened his interest in
the school, that he became indifferent to its small unpleasantnesses.
The beginning came one day when Ilya, returning with Jakov from an
excursion, noticed a crowd in the gateway of the house.
"Look!" said Jakov to his friend, "they're fighting again. Come along,
let's get in quick!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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