Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"Your trip has done you good," said Sir Mallaby approvingly. "The sea
air has given you some sense. I'm glad of it. It makes it easier for me
to say something else that I've had on my mind for a good while. Sam,
it's time you got married."
Sam barked bitterly. His father looked at him with concern.
"Swallow some smoke the wrong way?"
"I was laughing," explained Sam with dignity.
Sir Mallaby shook his head.
"I don't want to discourage your high spirit, but I must ask you to
approach this matter seriously. Marriage would do you a world of good,
Sam. It would brace you up. You really ought to consider the idea. I
was two years younger than you are when I married your poor mother, and
it was the making of me. A wife might make something of you."
"Impossible!"
"I don't see why she shouldn't. There's lots of good in you, my boy,
though you may not think so."
"When I said it was impossible," said Sam coldly, "I was referring to
the impossibility of the possibility.... I mean, that it was impossible
that I could possibly ... in other words, father, I can never marry. My
heart is dead."
"Your what?"
"My heart."
"Don't be a fool. There's nothing wrong with your heart. All our family
have had hearts like steam-engines. Probably you have been feeling a
sort of burning. Knock off cigars and that will soon stop."
"You don't understand me. I mean that a woman has treated me in a way
that has finished her whole sex as far as I am concerned. For me, women
do not exist."
"You didn't tell me about this," said Sir Mallaby, interested. "When
did this happen? Did she jilt you?"
"Yes."
"In America was it?"
"On the boat."
Sir Mallaby chuckled heartily.
"My dear boy, you don't mean to tell me that you're taking a shipboard
flirtation seriously. Why, you're expected to fall in love with a
different girl every time you go on a voyage. You'll get over this in a
week. You'd have got over it now if you hadn't gone and buried yourself
in a depressing place like Bingley-on-the-Sea."
The whistle of the speaking-tube blew. Sir Mallaby put the instrument
to his ear.
"All right," he turned to Sam. "I shall have to send you away now, Sam.
Man waiting to see me. Good-bye."
Miss Milliken intercepted Sam as he made for the door.
"Oh, Mr. Sam!"
"Yes?"
"Excuse me, but will you be seeing Sir Mallaby again to-day? If so,
would you--I don't like to disturb him now, when he is busy--would you
mind telling him that I inadvertently omitted a stanza. It runs," said
Miss Milliken, closing her eyes, "'Trust no future, howe'er pleasant.
Let the dead past bury its dead! Act, act in the living Present, Heart
within and God o'erhead!' Thank you so much. Good afternoon."
CHAPTER TEN
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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