Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"Because there's something jolly well up! Our Miss B. is sending me
with notes for him to the bottom of lanes."
"And her engaged to young Mr. Mortimer!" said the scullery-maid
shocked. "The way they go on! Chronic!" said the scullery-maid.
"Don't you go getting alarmed. And don't you," added Webster, "go
shoving your ear in when your social superiors are talking. I've had to
speak to you about that before. My remarks were addressed to Mrs.
Withers here."
He indicated the cook with a respectful gesture.
"Yes, here's the note, Mrs. Withers. Of course, if you had a steamy
kettle handy, in about half a moment we could ... but no, perhaps, it's
wiser not to risk it. And, come to that, I don't need to unstick the
envelope to know what's inside here. It's the raspberry, ma'am, or I've
lost all my power to read the human female countenance. Very cold and
proud-looking she was! I don't know who this S. Marlowe is, but I do
know one thing; in this hand I hold the instrument that's going to give
it him in the neck, proper! Right in the neck, or my name isn't Montagu
Webster!"
"Well!" said Mrs. Withers comfortably, pausing for a moment from her
labours. "Think of that!"
"The way I look at it," said Webster, "is that there's been some sort
of understanding between our Miss B. and this S. Marlowe, and she's
thought better of it and decided to stick to the man of her parent's
choice. She's chosen wealth and made up her mind to hand the humble
suitor the mitten. There was a rather similar situation in 'Cupid or
Mammon,' that Nosegay Novelette I was reading in the train coming down
here, only that ended different. For my part I'd be better pleased if
our Miss B. would let the cash go, and obey the dictates of her own
heart; but these modern girls are all alike. All out for the stuff,
they are! Oh, well, it's none of my affair," said Webster, stifling a
not unmanly sigh. For beneath that immaculate shirt-front there beat a
warm heart. Montagu Webster was a sentimentalist.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
A half-past two that afternoon, full of optimism and cold beef, gaily
unconscious that Webster, with measured strides was approaching ever
nearer with the note that was to give it him in the neck, proper,
Samuel Marlowe dangled his feet from the top bar of the gate at the end
of the lane and smoked contentedly as he waited for Billie to make her
appearance. He had had an excellent lunch; his pipe was drawing well,
and all Nature smiled. The breeze from the sea across the meadows,
tickled pleasantly the back of his head, and sang a soothing song in
the long grass and ragged-robins at his feet. He was looking forward
with a roseate glow of anticipation to the moment when the white
flutter of Billie's dress would break the green of the foreground. How
eagerly he would jump from the gate! How lovingly he would....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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