Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
The elegant figure of Webster interrupted his reverie. Sam had never
seen Webster before, and it was with no pleasure that he saw him now. He
had come to regard this lane as his own property, and he resented
trespassers. He tucked his legs under him, and scowled at Webster under
the brim of his hat.
The valet advanced towards him with the air of an affable executioner
stepping daintily to the block.
"Mr. Marlowe, sir?" he enquired politely.
Sam was startled. He could make nothing of this.
"Eh? What?"
"Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. S. Marlowe?"
"Yes, that's my name."
"Mine is Webster, sir, I am Mr. Bennett's personal gentleman's
gentleman. Miss Bennett entrusted me with this note to deliver to you,
sir."
Sam began to grasp the situation. For some reason or other, the dear
girl had been prevented from coming this afternoon, and she had written
to explain and to relieve his anxiety. It was like her. It was just the
sweet, thoughtful thing he would have expected her to do. His
contentment with the existing scheme of things returned. The sun
shone out again, and he found himself amiably disposed towards the
messenger.
"Fine day," he said, as he took the note.
"Extremely, sir," said Webster, outwardly unemotional, inwardly full of
a grave pity.
It was plain to him that there had been no previous little rift to
prepare the young man for the cervical operation which awaited him, and
he edged a little nearer, in order to be handy to catch Sam if the
shock knocked him off the gate.
As it happened, it did not. Having read the opening words of the note,
Sam rocked violently; but his feet were twined about the lower bars and
this saved him from overbalancing. Webster stepped back, relieved.
The note fluttered to the ground. Webster, picking it up and handing it
back, was enabled to get a glimpse of the first two sentences. They
confirmed his suspicions. The note was hot stuff. Assuming that it
continued as it began, it was about the warmest thing of its kind that
pen had ever written. Webster had received one or two heated epistles
from the sex in his time--your man of gallantry can hardly hope to
escape these unpleasantnesses--but none had got off the mark
quite so swiftly, and with quite so much frigid violence as this.
"Thanks," said Sam, mechanically.
"Not at all, sir. You are very welcome."
Sam resumed his reading. A cold perspiration broke out on his forehead.
His toes curled, and something seemed to be crawling down the small of
his back. His heart had moved from its proper place and was now beating
in his throat. He swallowed once or twice to remove the obstruction,
but without success. A kind of pall had descended on the landscape,
blotting out the sun.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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