Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
He is so self-willed. He is cock-sure that the correct turning is the
second on the right, and nothing will persuade him that it is the third.
He is positive he can get across the road in time, and will not be
convinced until he sees the cart smashed up. Then he is very apologetic,
it is true. But of what use is that? As he is usually of the size and
strength of a young bull, and his human companion is generally a weak-
kneed old man or woman, or a small child, he has his way. The greatest
punishment his proprietor can inflict upon him is to leave him at home,
and take the cart out alone. But your German is too kind-hearted to do
this often.
That he is harnessed to the cart for anybody's pleasure but his own it is
impossible to believe; and I am confident that the German peasant plans
the tiny harness and fashions the little cart purely with the hope of
gratifying his dog. In other countries--in Belgium, Holland and France--I
have seen these draught dogs ill-treated and over-worked; but in Germany,
never. Germans abuse animals shockingly. I have seen a German stand in
front of his horse and call it every name he could lay his tongue to. But
the horse did not mind it. I have seen a German, weary with abusing his
horse, call to his wife to come out and assist him. When she came, he
told her what the horse had done. The recital roused the woman's temper
to almost equal heat with his own; and standing one each side of the poor
beast, they both abused it. They abused its dead mother, they insulted
its father; they made cutting remarks about its personal appearance, its
intelligence, its moral sense, its general ability as a horse. The
animal bore the torrent with exemplary patience for awhile; then it did
the best thing possible to do under the circumstances. Without losing
its own temper, it moved quietly away. The lady returned to her washing,
and the man followed it up the street, still abusing it.
A kinder-hearted people than the Germans there is no need for. Cruelty
to animal or child is a thing almost unknown in the land. The whip with
them is a musical instrument; its crack is heard from morning to night,
but an Italian coachman that in the streets of Dresden I once saw use it
was very nearly lynched by the indignant crowd. Germany is the only
country in Europe where the traveller can settle himself comfortably in
his hired carriage, confident that his gentle, willing friend between the
shafts will be neither over-worked nor cruelly treated.
CHAPTER XI
Black Forest House: and the sociability therein--Its perfume--George
positively declines to remain in bed after four o'clock in the
morning--The road one cannot miss--My peculiar extra instinct--An
ungrateful party--Harris as a scientist--His cheery confidence--The
village: where it was, and where it ought to have been--George: his
plan--We promenade a la Francais--The German coachman asleep and
awake--The man who spreads the English language abroad.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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