Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
There was one night when, tired out and far from town or village, we
slept in a Black Forest farmhouse. The great charm about the Black
Forest house is its sociability. The cows are in the next room, the
horses are upstairs, the geese and ducks are in the kitchen, while the
pigs, the children, and the chickens live all over the place.
You are dressing, when you hear a grunt behind you.
"Good-morning! Don't happen to have any potato peelings in here? No, I
see you haven't; good-bye."
Next there is a cackle, and you see the neck of an old hen stretched
round the corner.
"Fine morning, isn't it? You don't mind my bringing this worm of mine in
here, do you? It is so difficult in this house to find a room where one
can enjoy one's food with any quietness. From a chicken I have always
been a slow eater, and when a dozen--there, I thought they wouldn't leave
me alone. Now they'll all want a bit. You don't mind my getting on the
bed, do you? Perhaps here they won't notice me."
While you are dressing various shock heads peer in at the door; they
evidently regard the room as a temporary menagerie. You cannot tell
whether the heads belong to boys or girls; you can only hope they are all
male. It is of no use shutting the door, because there is nothing to
fasten it by, and the moment you are gone they push it open again. You
breakfast as the Prodigal Son is generally represented feeding: a pig or
two drop in to keep you company; a party of elderly geese criticise you
from the door; you gather from their whispers, added to their shocked
expression, that they are talking scandal about you. Maybe a cow will
condescend to give a glance in.
This Noah's Ark arrangement it is, I suppose, that gives to the Black
Forest home its distinctive scent. It is not a scent you can liken to
any one thing. It is as if you took roses and Limburger cheese and hair
oil, some heather and onions, peaches and soapsuds, together with a dash
of sea air and a corpse, and mixed them up together. You cannot define
any particular odour, but you feel they are all there--all the odours
that the world has yet discovered. People who live in these houses are
fond of this mixture. They do not open the window and lose any of it;
they keep it carefully bottled up. If you want any other scent, you can
go outside and smell the wood violets and the pines; inside there is the
house; and after a while, I am told, you get used to it, so that you miss
it, and are unable to go to sleep in any other atmosphere.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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