Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
A Frenchman or a Spaniard will seek to persuade you that the bull-ring is
an institution got up chiefly for the benefit of the bull. The horse
which you imagined to be screaming with pain was only laughing at the
comical appearance presented by its own inside. Your French or Spanish
friend contrasts its glorious and exciting death in the ring with the
cold-blooded brutality of the knacker's yard. If you do not keep a tight
hold of your head, you come away with the desire to start an agitation
for the inception of the bull-ring in England as an aid to chivalry. No
doubt Torquemada was convinced of the humanity of the Inquisition. To a
stout gentleman, suffering, perhaps, from cramp or rheumatism, an hour or
so on the rack was really a physical benefit. He would rise feeling more
free in his joints--more elastic, as one might say, than he had felt for
years. English huntsmen regard the fox as an animal to be envied. A
day's excellent sport is provided for him free of charge, during which he
is the centre of attraction.
Use blinds one to everything one does not wish to see. Every third
German gentleman you meet in the street still bears, and will bear to his
grave, marks of the twenty to a hundred duels he has fought in his
student days. The German children play at the Mensur in the nursery,
rehearse it in the gymnasium. The Germans have come to persuade
themselves there is no brutality in it--nothing offensive, nothing
degrading. Their argument is that it schools the German youth to
coolness and courage. If this could be proved, the argument,
particularly in a country where every man is a soldier, would be
sufficiently one-sided. But is the virtue of the prize-fighter the
virtue of the soldier? One doubts it. Nerve and dash are surely of more
service in the field than a temperament of unreasoning indifference as to
what is happening to one. As a matter of fact, the German student would
have to be possessed of much more courage not to fight. He fights not to
please himself, but to satisfy a public opinion that is two hundred years
behind the times.
All the Mensur does is to brutalise him. There may be skill displayed--I
am told there is,--but it is not apparent. The mere fighting is like
nothing so much as a broadsword combat at a Richardson's show; the
display as a whole a successful attempt to combine the ludicrous with the
unpleasant. In aristocratic Bonn, where style is considered, and in
Heidelberg, where visitors from other nations are more common, the affair
is perhaps more formal. I am told that there the contests take place in
handsome rooms; that grey-haired doctors wait upon the wounded, and
liveried servants upon the hungry, and that the affair is conducted
throughout with a certain amount of picturesque ceremony. In the more
essentially German Universities, where strangers are rare and not much
encouraged, the simple essentials are the only things kept in view, and
these are not of an inviting nature.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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