Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
That was wisdom I had taught them; I had learned it myself years ago from
my Uncle Podger.
"Always before beginning to pack," my Uncle would say, "make a list."
He was a methodical man.
"Take a piece of paper"--he always began at the beginning--"put down on
it everything you can possibly require, then go over it and see that it
contains nothing you can possibly do without. Imagine yourself in bed;
what have you got on? Very well, put it down--together with a change.
You get up; what do you do? Wash yourself. What do you wash yourself
with? Soap; put down soap. Go on till you have finished. Then take
your clothes. Begin at your feet; what do you wear on your feet? Boots,
shoes, socks; put them down. Work up till you get to your head. What
else do you want besides clothes? A little brandy; put it down. A
corkscrew, put it down. Put down everything, then you don't forget
anything."
That is the plan he always pursued himself. The list made, he would go
over it carefully, as he always advised, to see that he had forgotten
nothing. Then he would go over it again, and strike out everything it
was possible to dispense with.
Then he would lose the list.
Said George: "Just sufficient for a day or two we will take with us on
our bikes. The bulk of our luggage we must send on from town to town."
"We must be careful," I said; "I knew a man once--"
Harris looked at his watch.
"We'll hear about him on the boat," said Harris; "I have got to meet
Clara at Waterloo Station in half an hour."
"It won't take half an hour," I said; "it's a true story, and--"
"Don't waste it," said George: "I am told there are rainy evenings in the
Black Forest; we may be glad of it. What we have to do now is to finish
this list."
Now I come to think of it, I never did get off that story; something
always interrupted it. And it really was true.
CHAPTER III
Harris's one fault--Harris and the Angel--A patent bicycle lamp--The
ideal saddle--The "Overhauler"--His eagle eye--His method--His cheery
confidence--His simple and inexpensive tastes--His appearance--How to get
rid of him--George as prophet--The gentle art of making oneself
disagreeable in a foreign tongue--George as a student of human nature--He
proposes an experiment--His Prudence--Harris's support secured, upon
conditions.
On Monday afternoon Harris came round; he had a cycling paper in his
hand.
I said: "If you take my advice, you will leave it alone."
Harris said: "Leave what alone?"
I said: "That brand-new, patent, revolution in cycling, record-breaking,
Tomfoolishness, whatever it may be, the advertisement of which you have
there in your hand."
He said: "Well, I don't know; there will be some steep hills for us to
negotiate; I guess we shall want a good brake."
I said: "We shall want a brake, I agree; what we shall not want is a
mechanical surprise that we don't understand, and that never acts when it
is wanted."
"This thing," he said, "acts automatically."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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