Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
"I cannot promise for George," I said; "a little thing will sometimes
irritate him, as you know. If such an accident as you suggest happen, he
may be cross, but I will undertake to explain to him that it was not your
fault."
"Is the thing all right?" he asked.
"The tandem," I replied, "is well."
He said: "Have you overhauled it?"
I said: "I have not, nor is anyone else going to overhaul it. The thing
is now in working order, and it is going to remain in working order till
we start."
I have had experience of this "overhauling." There was a man at
Folkestone; I used to meet him on the Lees. He proposed one evening we
should go for a long bicycle ride together on the following day, and I
agreed. I got up early, for me; I made an effort, and was pleased with
myself. He came half an hour late: I was waiting for him in the garden.
It was a lovely day. He said:--
"That's a good-looking machine of yours. How does it run?"
"Oh, like most of them!" I answered; "easily enough in the morning; goes
a little stiffly after lunch."
He caught hold of it by the front wheel and the fork and shook it
violently.
I said: "Don't do that; you'll hurt it."
I did not see why he should shake it; it had not done anything to him.
Besides, if it wanted shaking, I was the proper person to shake it. I
felt much as I should had he started whacking my dog.
He said: "This front wheel wobbles."
I said: "It doesn't if you don't wobble it." It didn't wobble, as a
matter of fact--nothing worth calling a wobble.
He said: "This is dangerous; have you got a screw-hammer?"
I ought to have been firm, but I thought that perhaps he really did know
something about the business. I went to the tool shed to see what I
could find. When I came back he was sitting on the ground with the front
wheel between his legs. He was playing with it, twiddling it round
between his fingers; the remnant of the machine was lying on the gravel
path beside him.
He said: "Something has happened to this front wheel of yours."
"It looks like it, doesn't it?" I answered. But he was the sort of man
that never understands satire.
He said: "It looks to me as if the bearings were all wrong."
I said: "Don't you trouble about it any more; you will make yourself
tired. Let us put it back and get off."
He said: "We may as well see what is the matter with it, now it is out."
He talked as though it had dropped out by accident.
Before I could stop him he had unscrewed something somewhere, and out
rolled all over the path some dozen or so little balls.
"Catch 'em!" he shouted; "catch 'em! We mustn't lose any of them." He
was quite excited about them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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