Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
The paper was not a financial success, it was some years before its
time, and the consequence was that our staff was limited. My own
department, I remember, included "Advice to Mothers"--I wrote that with
the assistance of my landlady, who, having divorced one husband and
buried four children, was, I considered, a reliable authority on all
domestic matters; "Hints on Furnishing and Household Decorations--with
Designs"; a column of "Literary Counsel to Beginners"--I sincerely hope
my guidance was of better service to them than it has ever proved to
myself; and our weekly article, "Straight Talks to Young Men," signed
"Uncle Henry." A kindly, genial old fellow was "Uncle Henry," with
wide and varied experience, and a sympathetic attitude towards the
rising generation. He had been through trouble himself in his far back
youth, and knew most things. Even to this day I read of "Uncle Henry's"
advice, and, though I say it who should not, it still seems to me good,
sound advice. I often think that had I followed "Uncle Henry's" counsel
closer I would have been wiser, made fewer mistakes, felt better
satisfied with myself than is now the case.
A quiet, weary little woman, who lived in a bed-sitting room off the
Tottenham Court Road, and who had a husband in a lunatic asylum, did our
"Cooking Column," "Hints on Education"--we were full of hints,--and a
page and a half of "Fashionable Intelligence," written in the pertly
personal style which even yet has not altogether disappeared, so I am
informed, from modern journalism: "I must tell you about the _divine_
frock I wore at 'Glorious Goodwood' last week. Prince C.--but there, I
really must not repeat all the things the silly fellow says; he is _too_
foolish--and the _dear_ Countess, I fancy, was just the _weeish_ bit
jealous"--and so on.
Poor little woman! I see her now in the shabby grey alpaca, with the
inkstains on it. Perhaps a day at "Glorious Goodwood," or anywhere else
in the fresh air, might have put some colour into her cheeks.
Our proprietor--one of the most unashamedly ignorant men I ever met--I
remember his gravely informing a correspondent once that Ben Jonson had
written _Rabelais_ to pay for his mother's funeral, and only laughing
good-naturedly when his mistakes were pointed out to him--wrote with the
aid of a cheap encyclopedia the pages devoted to "General Information,"
and did them on the whole remarkably well; while our office boy, with an
excellent pair of scissors for his assistant, was responsible for our
supply of "Wit and Humour."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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