Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
For they have a way of teaching languages in Germany that is not our way,
and the consequence is that when the German youth or maiden leaves the
gymnasium or high school at fifteen, "it" (as in Germany one conveniently
may say) can understand and speak the tongue it has been learning. In
England we have a method that for obtaining the least possible result at
the greatest possible expenditure of time and money is perhaps
unequalled. An English boy who has been through a good middle-class
school in England can talk to a Frenchman, slowly and with difficulty,
about female gardeners and aunts; conversation which, to a man possessed
perhaps of neither, is liable to pall. Possibly, if he be a bright
exception, he may be able to tell the time, or make a few guarded
observations concerning the weather. No doubt he could repeat a goodly
number of irregular verbs by heart; only, as a matter of fact, few
foreigners care to listen to their own irregular verbs, recited by young
Englishmen. Likewise he might be able to remember a choice selection of
grotesquely involved French idioms, such as no modern Frenchman has ever
heard or understands when he does hear.
The explanation is that, in nine cases out of ten, he has learnt French
from an "Ahn's First-Course." The history of this famous work is
remarkable and instructive. The book was originally written for a joke,
by a witty Frenchman who had resided for some years in England. He
intended it as a satire upon the conversational powers of British
society. From this point of view it was distinctly good. He submitted
it to a London publishing firm. The manager was a shrewd man. He read
the book through. Then he sent for the author.
"This book of yours," said he to the author, "is very clever. I have
laughed over it myself till the tears came."
"I am delighted to hear you say so," replied the pleased Frenchman. "I
tried to be truthful without being unnecessarily offensive."
"It is most amusing," concurred the manager; "and yet published as a
harmless joke, I feel it would fail."
The author's face fell.
"Its humour," proceeded the manager, "would be denounced as forced and
extravagant. It would amuse the thoughtful and intelligent, but from a
business point of view that portion of the public are never worth
considering. But I have an idea," continued the manager. He glanced
round the room to be sure they were alone, and leaning forward sunk his
voice to a whisper. "My notion is to publish it as a serious work for
the use of schools!"
The author stared, speechless.
"I know the English schoolman," said the manager; "this book will appeal
to him. It will exactly fit in with his method. Nothing sillier,
nothing more useless for the purpose will he ever discover. He will
smack his lips over the book, as a puppy licks up blacking."
The author, sacrificing art to greed, consented. They altered the title
and added a vocabulary, but left the book otherwise as it was.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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