Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
Your German likes the country, but he prefers it as the lady thought she
would the noble savage--more dressed. He likes his walk through the
wood--to a restaurant. But the pathway must not be too steep, it must
have a brick gutter running down one side of it to drain it, and every
twenty yards or so it must have its seat on which he can rest and mop his
brow; for your German would no more think of sitting on the grass than
would an English bishop dream of rolling down One Tree Hill. He likes
his view from the summit of the hill, but he likes to find there a stone
tablet telling him what to look at, find a table and bench at which he
can sit to partake of the frugal beer and "belegte Semmel" he has been
careful to bring with him. If, in addition, he can find a police notice
posted on a tree, forbidding him to do something or other, that gives him
an extra sense of comfort and security.
Your German is not averse even to wild scenery, provided it be not too
wild. But if he consider it too savage, he sets to work to tame it. I
remember, in the neighbourhood of Dresden, discovering a picturesque and
narrow valley leading down towards the Elbe. The winding roadway ran
beside a mountain torrent, which for a mile or so fretted and foamed over
rocks and boulders between wood-covered banks. I followed it enchanted
until, turning a corner, I suddenly came across a gang of eighty or a
hundred workmen. They were busy tidying up that valley, and making that
stream respectable. All the stones that were impeding the course of the
water they were carefully picking out and carting away. The bank on
either side they were bricking up and cementing. The overhanging trees
and bushes, the tangled vines and creepers they were rooting up and
trimming down. A little further I came upon the finished work--the
mountain valley as it ought to be, according to German ideas. The water,
now a broad, sluggish stream, flowed over a level, gravelly bed, between
two walls crowned with stone coping. At every hundred yards it gently
descended down three shallow wooden platforms. For a space on either
side the ground had been cleared, and at regular intervals young poplars
planted. Each sapling was protected by a shield of wickerwork and bossed
by an iron rod. In the course of a couple of years it is the hope of the
local council to have "finished" that valley throughout its entire
length, and made it fit for a tidy-minded lover of German nature to walk
in. There will be a seat every fifty yards, a police notice every
hundred, and a restaurant every half-mile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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