LAWYER You can't convict this man. I'm here to represent him. JUDGE Yo' mouf might spout lak a coffee pot but I got a lawyer (Looks at other lawyer) dat kin beat your segastuatin'. (Looks admiring at girl) How am I chewin' my dictionary and minglin' my alphabets? LAWYER Well, I kin try, can't I? JUDGE Oh yeah, you kin try, but I kin see right now where he's gointer git all de time dat God ever made dat ain't been used already. From now on. (To LAWYER) Go 'head, and spread yo' lungs all over Georgy, but he's goin' to jail! Mules _must_ be respected. LAWYER (Striking a pose at the bar) Your Honor, (Looks at the pretty girl) Ladies and Gentlemen-- JUDGE Never mind 'bout dat lady. You talk yo' chat to _me_. LAWYER This is a clear case of syllogism! Again I say syllogism. My client is innocent because it was a dark night when they say he stole the mule and that's against all laws of syllogism. (JUDGE looks impressed and laughs) JUDGE Dat ole fool do know somethin' 'bout law. LAWYER When George Washington was pleading de case of Marbury vs. Madison, what did _he_ say? What _did_ he say? Scintillate, scintillate, Globule orific. Fain would I fathom thy nature's specific. Loftily poised in ether capacious, strongly resembling a gem carbonacious. What did Abraham Lincoln say about mule-stealing? When torrid Phoebut refuses his presence and ceases to lamp with fierce incandescence, then you illumine the regions supernal, scintillate, scintillate, semper noctornal. Syllogism, again I say syllogism. (He takes his seat amid applause) JUDGE Man, youse a pleadin' fool. You knows yo' rules and by-laws. OTHER LAWYER Let me show my glory. Let me spread my habeas corpus. JUDGE 'Tain't no use. Dis lawyer done convinced me. OTHER LAWYER But, lemme parade my material-- JUDGE Parade yo' material anywhere you wants to exceptin' befo' me. Dis lil girl wants to go home and I'm goin' with her and enjoy de consequences. Court's adjourned. _CURTAIN_ "FORTY YARDS" by ZORA *[Handwritten: (Neale)] HURSTON "FORTY YARDS" (A Negro football game with the popular concept of Negro life) TIME: Present PLACE: Washington, D.C. SCENE: The Ball Park PERSONS: The Howard and Lincoln teams, the Howard band, cheer leaders, spectators. SETTING: The park with grandstands on either sides and up-stage. ACTION: At rise, the grandstands are full, the cheer leaders are violently gyrating to whip up the mob. The Lincoln colors fly from the right. The Howard from the left. Both have cheer leaders. First is heard the Lincoln mob singing "DIDN'T HE RAMBLE, RAMBLE." Lincoln Mob