It is not difficult to imagine that Paul felt far from calm during
this scene--indeed he was obliged to hold on to his great chair to
prevent himself from seizing her in his arms.
"I'm--I'm so glad you like him," he said in a choked voice. "I thought
probably you would. And your own was not worthy of you. I found this
by chance. And oh! good God! if you knew how you are making me
feel--lying there wasting your caresses upon it!"
She tossed the scarlet rose over to him; it hit his mouth.
"I am not wasting them," she said, the innocence of a kitten in her
strange eyes--their colour impossible to define to-day. "Indeed not,
Paul! He was my lover in another life--perhaps--who knows?"
"But I," said Paul, who was now quite mad, "want to be your lover in
this!"
Then he gasped at his own boldness.
With a lightning movement she lay on her face, raised her elbows on
the tiger's head, and supported her chin in her hands. Perfectly
straight out her body was, the twisted purple drapery outlining her
perfect shape, and flowing in graceful lines beyond--like a serpent's
tail. The velvet pillows fell scattered at one side.
"Paul--what do you know of lovers--or love?" she said. "My baby Paul!"
"I know enough to know I know nothing yet which is worth knowing," he
said confusedly. "But--but--don't you understand, I want you to teach
me--"
"You are so sweet, Paul! when you plead like that I am taking in every
bit of you. In your way as perfect as this tiger. But we must
talk--oh! such a great, great deal--first."
A rage of passion was racing through Paul, his incoherent thoughts
were that he did not want to talk--only to kiss her--to devour her--to
strangle her with love if necessary.
He bit the rose.
"You see, Paul, love is a purely physical emotion," she continued. "We
could speak an immense amount about souls, and sympathy, and
understanding, and devotion. All beautiful things in their way, and
possible to be enjoyed at a distance from one another. All the things
which make passion noble--but without love--which _is_ passion--these
things dwindle and become duties presently, when the hysterical
exaltation cools. Love is _tangible_--it means to be close--close--to
be clasped--to be touching--to be One!"
Her voice was low--so concentrated as to be startling in contrast to
the drip of the rain outside, and her eyes--half closed and
gleaming--burnt into his brain. It seemed as if strange flames of
green darted from their pupils.
"But that is what I want!" Paul said, unsteadily.
"Without counting the cost? Tears and--cold steel--and blood!" she
whispered. "Wait a while, beautiful Paul!"
He started back chilled for a second, and in that second she changed
her position, pulling the cushions around her, nestling into them and
drawing herself cosily up like a child playing on a mat in front of
the fire, while with a face of perfect innocence she looked up as she
drew one of her great books nearer, and said in a dreamy voice:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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