Through Colonial DoorwaysWharton, Anne Hollingsworth
History
Through Colonial Doorways
Wharton, Anne Hollingsworth
United States -- Social life and customs -- 1775-1783; United States -- Social life and customs -- To 1775
of her character, we are always conscious of a feeling of restraint in
her presence, which she makes no effort to overcome by word or smile.
We cannot imagine ourselves spending a pleasant evening with her,
discussing events of the day, or the last engagement or ball, as we
can with Mrs. John Adams, Mrs. John Jay, or sprightly Mrs. Bache. We
confess to the same emotions with regard to Mrs. Robert Morris, whose
character stands out, like that of her intimate friend Mrs. Washington,
surrounded by a halo of excellence. Is this the fault of these worthy
ladies, or is it that of their biographers, who, in presenting them
to the world with all the lofty virtues of Roman matrons, have added
no lighter touches to their pictures? In vain we search for some
shred of gayety, or mirth, or enthusiasm, on their part, and in sheer
desperation back out of their presence with a stately courtesy, and
take refuge with Rebecca Franks, or Sally Wister, or Eliza Southgate,
with whom we are always sure of passing a merry half-hour. Nor is it
frivolity and merry-making that we look for in the records of the
past: it is life, with its high hopes and homely cares, its simple
pleasures and small gayeties, that served to relieve the tension of
earnest endeavor needed to accomplish a great and difficult task. Mrs.
Adams’s letters about her children, her household economies, and her
experiments in farming are almost as interesting as those written from
abroad, because she approaches all subjects, even the most commonplace,
with a buoyant spirit and playful fancy. To her husband, during one
of his long absences from home, she writes, “I am a mortal enemy to
anything but a cheerful countenance and a merry heart, which, Solomon
tells us, does good like medicine.” And again, “I could give you a long
list of domestic affairs, but they would only serve to embarrass you
and in noways relieve me. All domestic pleasures are absorbed in the
great and important duty you owe your country, ‘for our country is, as
it were, a secondary god, and the first and greatest parent. It is to
be preferred to parents, wives, children, friends, and all things,--the
gods only excepted.’” It is not strange that to such a wife John Adams
should have written, “By the accounts in your last letter, it seems
the women in Boston begin to think themselves able to serve their
country. What a pity it is that our generals in the northern districts
had not Aspasias to their wives! I believe the two Howes have not very
great women for wives. If they had, we should suffer more from their
exertions than we do. This is our good fortune. A woman of sense would
not let her husband spend five weeks at sea in such a season of the
year. A smart wife would have put Howe in possession of Philadelphia
a long time ago.” It is evident that Mr. Adams did not need to be won
over to any modern theories with regard to the higher education of
women, and, as a relief to the sterner side of the picture, we find the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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