Through Night to Light: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Through Night to Light: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
"Sadness is a passive disposition; the disposition of one who sees that
he cannot struggle with fate, and therefore submits to endure it as
well as he can. But there are characters which resist as long as it is
possible, and when nothing more can be done, instead of laying down
their arms, break them to pieces and throw them fiercely at the
victor's feet."
Sophie came up closer to her betrothed and said, after a pause:
"I am not one of those characters, Franz. I am not too proud to be sad;
I have been very often sad these last days. I was sad when you left us
with Doctor Stein, although at that time I had no particular reason for
being so. But since then, when papa was taken sick and I sat by his
bedside, and my greatest anxiety--next to that about papa's life--was
whether you had received my letter ... You might have travelled on and
on, and my heart was all the time breaking with longing for you! You
went to see him, I am sure, before you came to call for me at Miss
Bear's."
"Of course! He is better. I begged him to lie down, but he insisted
upon sitting up till we should come back."
"And I have wasted so much time! Let us go faster!"
"A few minutes, more or less, do not matter; and besides, I should like
to speak with you definitely about our future. We must at last make an
end to this provisional state, which is pleasant to no one--not to
God--I mean Nature--nor to man--and is daily becoming more oppressive.
An unmarried man is a fish; but an engaged man is neither fish nor
flesh. When two people are in their own heart and conscience man and
wife through their mutual love, they ought to be man and wife also in
the world, before men, provided circumstances admit of their marrying.
Now, that is the case with us. We have enough for our support, and for
the present we need no more; whatever else may be necessary will come.
In short, shall we have our wedding day four weeks from to-day?"
"But, Franz, I have not finished half of my trousseau!"
"Then we'll marry with half a trousseau."
"And what will papa say? You know how very hard it is for him to let me
go from him; and shall I just now ask such a sacrifice from him, when
he needs me more than ever? I have not the courage to propose it to
him."
"But I have it; your father knows that I am not less anxious for your
happiness than he is, and he is far too sensible not to see that my
plan is the best. Come, my darling, don't hang your head. To-day four
weeks we are man and wife."
"Ah, Franz! I wish it could be so. But I fear, I fear, Heaven does not
mean it so well with us!"
"Why not? Heaven means it well with all who have the courage to
determine upon their own happiness. For, how says the poet: 'In our
bosom are the stars of our fate.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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