Through Night to Light: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Through Night to Light: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
"Your excellency ought to have made him eat a good slice of ham with
brown bread, and a glass of brandy."
Berger began to stir. He opened his eyes and looked wonderingly at the
by-standers, like somebody who is awaking from a heavy dream. Then he
rose fully, with Oswald's assistance, and said in a low voice:
"I thank you, my friends. I have given you much trouble. We are
dependent one on the other in this life. I hope I shall soon meet you
again; perhaps I may be able then to reciprocate your kindness. Come,
Oswald, let us go."
"Do you feel strong enough? Had we not better send for a carriage?"
"Oh no! Horses and carriages are not for people like me."
He went to the door. Suddenly he stopped again.
"Pay the people what we owe them, Oswald; we must not remain in
anybody's debt on this earth."
Oswald paid the landlord his bill, including in it, to Mr. Schmenckel's
evident satisfaction, all that the ropedancers had consumed.
A few moments afterward he and Berger had left the house and were
walking slowly through the silent streets of Fichtenau, back to Doctor
Birkenhain's asylum.
Berger observed a silence which Oswald dared not break. The young man
reproached himself in secret to have been so imprudent as to have left
Berger so long in such company. He ascribed his exaltation mainly to
the heat and the drinking of the strong beer, to which he was not
accustomed. He had no suspicion of the close connection between
Berger's history and the grotesque adventures of the circus-director,
whose story he had scarcely heard. He only thought of Dr. Birkenhain,
and how little he had attended to his suggestions. He was reflecting
whether his presence was not perhaps rather injurious than useful for
Berger, and thought of leaving Fichtenau as soon as possible, for his
own benefit as well as for Berger's.
Thus they had reached in silence the road which led past the mill to
the gateway of Doctor Birkenhain's asylum, when Berger suddenly said:
"You must leave us to-night, Oswald!"
"To-night?"
"Rather to-day than to-morrow. You have to go out into the desert once
more; I cannot spare you the trial. And I, myself--I have to learn much
yet, and you cannot assist me. It is better for us, therefore, to part.
You go your way, and I shall go my way--it is the same road and
although I am a little ahead of you, you learn quickly and will soon
overtake me. Until then, Oswald farewell!"
Berger embraced Oswald and kissed him.
Oswald was deeply moved.
"Let me stay with you," he said, his voice half-drowned in tears; "let
me stay with you and never leave you again. I hate the world, I despise
the world, as much as you do."
"I know that," said Berger, "but to despise the world is but the first
stage of the three on the road to the Great Mystery."
"And which is the second stage? Mention it, so that I may reach it at
once!"
"To despise one's self."
"And--the third?"
They were standing before the gateway. Berger rang the bell; the door
sprang open.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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