Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"He did love her," the professor said, after his pause,
"tempestuously--overwhelmingly. Overwhelmingly is a good word to use. He
overwhelmed her in the end. At first she liked him; but when the nature
of his feeling for her began to express itself, it is my impression that
she felt a secret fear of and dislike to it. She tried to avoid him, but
he absolutely refused to allow it. He followed her, and was
picturesquely wretched before her eyes. There is no denying he was
picturesque. That was his strong point. He was picturesque and
pathetic--and poetic. She was only a girl, and she was tremendously at a
disadvantage before him. When she treated him badly he bore it with
tender patience, and he devoted himself to her with a faithfulness which
might have touched a heart harder and more experienced than hers was,
poor child! Of course his picturesque unhappiness and his poetic
magnanimity told; I knew they would, and they did. Reaction set in, and
she began to feel the fascination of making him happy."
He stopped, and suddenly lifted his head.
"My boy," he said, "one of the most damnable things in life is a
fascination like that in the mind of a generous, ignorant creature!"
He dropped his head again.
"That is strong language," he said, "and I don't often use strong
language. I--don't consider it gentlemanly, but I felt strongly at the
moment, and the word is expressive. Well, the time came when, in a
moment when her mood being softer and more sympathetic than usual, and
she herself, as a consequence, at a greater disadvantage than ever,--she
committed herself; and then it was all over. The trouble is, that the
experience of a woman of forty is what a girl needs when she chooses her
husband at twenty, and, as the two things are incompatible, the chances
are always against her. Bertha had the faults and follies that I told
you go to make a martyr. When she had made her mistake, she was strong
and weak enough to abide by it. It is mostly imagination in matters of
this kind; it was imagination in hers. She was young enough to believe
in everything. She believed that if she broke her engagement she would
break Amory's heart and ruin his life for him. There was no danger of
either catastrophe, but they were realities to her, and they terrified
her. Then she had never been touched by any deeper feeling than the
anxious tenderness he awakened in her. She had not been given to
sentiments, and, I am afraid, had regarded them rather contemptuously in
others. She had no conception of a feeling stronger than herself, and
held curiously obstinate and lofty views of the conduct of women who did
not hold their emotions neatly in check. Her girlish bigotry was
touching to me sometimes, because it was so thorough, and revealed such
ignorance. I wish--I wish I could hear something of it now!"
Tredennis had reached the end of the room. He turned sharply, but
recovered himself and said nothing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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