Produced by Annie McGuire. This book was produced from scanned images of public domain material from the Internet Archive. Transcriber's note: Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). Text enclosed by equal signs is in extra large type (=large=). Through the Outlooking Glass WITH THEODORE ROOSEVELT SIXTH EDITION PRICE TEN CENTS THROUGH THE OUTLOOKING GLASS _Being the curious adventures of Theodore the_ Red Knight _in his quest of the_ Third Cup, _of his faithful companion_ Alice, _of the_ Old Lady _who lived in a shoe behind a high tariff wall, and divers quaint and lively persons, all comprising a veritable_ Theodyssey _of incidents, set down in simple third terms_ BY SIMEON STRUNSKY REPRINTED FROM The Evening Post NEW YORK CHAPTER I Alice was half-way through her cereal when the Red Knight came in and picked out a place at the same table facing her. He flung his coat over two hooks on the wall upside down. He then took a piece of chalk from his pocket and drew a ring on the floor and threw his hat into it. "Good morning, sir," said Alice, who never forgot her manners under any circumstances. "Good evening," said the Red Knight, as he opened his newspaper and began reading the last paragraph in the last column on the last page. "But it isn't evening," said Alice. "Why, I am just having my breakfast before going to school." "If you were a friend of mine, you'd know what I mean," said the Red Knight, and turned to the Mad Waiter, who was holding out the bill of fare for him to read. The Mad Waiter was a progressive waiter. He was so progressive that he would always be serving people with their supper before they had finished ordering lunch. "I'll begin with a third cup of coffee," said the Red Knight. "Then you can bring me a second cup if it's not too cold. I am sure I don't want the first cup at all today." "Thank you, sir," said the Mad Waiter. "The ham and eggs is very fine today." "That just suits me," said the Red Knight. "Too bad," said the Mad Waiter. "Perhaps you'll have a chop, with pickles and a boiled potato." "Bully!" said the Red Knight. "Why, then, there's the cold salmon as many people likes to have a taste of in the morning," said the waiter. "Under no circumstances will I eat cold salmon," said the Red Knight, bringing his fist down on the table with such force that Alice let her spoon fall to the floor. The Mad Waiter disappeared, and almost immediately returned with a plate of cold salmon, of which the Red Knight partook heartily, washing it down with two steaming cups of coffee. As Alice was gathering up her books before setting out for school, the Red Knight turned to the waiter and said, "Now bring me the first cup." "But you said you were sure you didn't want a first cup," cried Alice, with some show of spirit.